Radiation August 7th

A whirlwind weekend was had in California for a beautiful wedding in Pasadena.  Life is ever experiencing change and new passages.  I was actually the guest book girl for the mother of the bride at the same reception country club over 30+ years ago. And now her beautiful daughter Katie married and celebrated with her husband in the same surroudings.  No guest book girl though!

So then last Tuesday, August 7th, I started my first day of radiation.  Paula P went with me to meet with Dr. Dave's assistant.  She reviewed the procedure, and then I was led down to the treatment area. So my NEW friends in the radiation area are Lori, Liz, and John.  John frequently gets to see my whole boob right in his face!!!!  Again, they strap me down, arms above my head, knees over a triangular pillow, ankles strapped.  Yep, just like “Shades of Grey”.  Anyhow, we will see how it goes!  Dosage time seems to only be a about two minutes. Breakfast afterwards.  This is my life for 29 more days, not including weekends!

I am  wondering what side efffects I will have - drinking aloe vera gel and using emu oil topically to hopefully lessen the side effects.

My hair is barely starting to grow back WHITE - all but one eyelash remains on each eye - and I slightly lost some eyebrow hairs on each eyebrow. DAMN!  (I hear the new thing is tatooing for older women whose eyebrows have turned white - not sure I can go there - these better grow back!)  The word is that the first hair to be lost, is the first to come back,  and the last hair to go (eyebrows just last month) is the last to come back.

 I wonder if I will be glowing by September?

Maggie My Love - September 22, 1999 - July 26,2012

July 26th was the day we decided that we finally had to put our sweet Old English Sheepdog Maggie to rest.  It doesn't seem right that we have this power over our pets...they say it is the right thing to do to prevent them from suffering. The guilt is overwhelming!

Maggie was the sweetest and worst dog we ever had!  She peed and pooped all over the carpet from the start of moving into our new home ten years ago. Vomiting too!  For some reason she couldn't choose to hit the tile or wood floor, it had to be the carpet! In her defense, she was a stress pee-er...meaning at times when I would leave her alone she would do it because she was upset. At least that is what the vet said. 

Then as the years went by, the lightening and thunder would terrify her. If we weren't home...she would go downstairs and pee and poop during a storm.  When Uncle Bob would come to visit, she would always leave her mark outside his room. She would become ill  if she somehow ate something she shouldn't have and then yuk there it was again right on the carpet.  These are the reasons she was the worst dog ever. We will have to replace our carpeting and padding in our 6000 square foot house as she has managed to hit every floor in our house right where the spots can be seen!  Imagine a 98 lb dog's bladder size!

She loved me completely, unconditionally. Actually probably almost better than my own children! She totally lived to love me! Wherever I went in the house, she followed me. She slept on the floor next to my bed.  If I had to sleep on the couch because of Dan's snoring, she would find me and sleep next to me.  Always protecting me! 

For many years she would come to work with me in our warehouse office. Many of our customers would love to see her and bring her cookies.  Every morning when I would leave to go to the office, she would watch me and jump up, not to be left behind.

Then one day, she did not want to come with me anymore.  And she wouldn't climb up the stairs in our house anymore to be with me. It was hard to be without her, knowing that she wanted to be with me but couldn't.

Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma in her shoulder.  She had started to limp right after her last bath.  I thought she was just sore from over manipulation during her grooming.  When she didn't get better after a few days, I took her to the vet and had her leg X-rayed. The initial diagnosis was a pinched nerve, but the possibility of it being something more was suggested. So with more pain meds I took her home, hoping it would get better.  Her hind legs were already making it hard for her to get up, in fact I had to constantly lift her up from behind to get her up to go outside potty or for her meals.  Once up, she was able to move around pretty good.  And there were times when I wasn't there to help her, that somehow she managed to move where she wanted to go.  But when she started limping with her front leg, everything was harder for her.  She would fall when she was going potty, falling in it, and being embarrassed.  Cleaning her up was not easy.  I called the vet to tell him the limp was not getting better.  Being her main doctor, who had not yet looked at the X-rays from Maggie’s weekend visit, he told me that he feared she had bone cancer.  And that on a scale of one to ten, ten being worst, this was about a nine.  He told me there was nothing we could do, and that the best course of action would be to put her down.  He said we didn't have to do it that day, but that we should discuss it as a family. The quality of her life was diminishing daily.

The next day after talking to the doctor, we had a surprise party at our home for Scott and Mariclare’s 25th wedding anniversary.  I did not want that to be the day we made a decision.  And somehow Maggie rallied for the party, everyone told her how pretty she was and gave her love.

July 26th, she could hardly get up..she hadn't been eating much, and she was much thinner.  We decided that we needed to take her. . . Tommy went with me and was my rock. He stayed with her until the very end. I only wanted to stay until she was in a deep sleep, which was supposed to take 3-5 minutes according to the doctor.  TWENTY minutes later we were still petting her and talking to her. She did not want to sleep!  When it seemed like she was  finally  in a deep sleep, not lifting her head up anymore,I left the room.  I sat in my car outside crying.  Another woman with her dog came out, saw me and started crying too. 

When it was over, Tommy came out and took me home.  I threw out everything that belonged to her ao I wouldn’t have to see it.  Then, Tommy and I decided to go to Red Ginger to have lunch and a goodbye drink for Maggie. Tommy had a Mai-Tai, and I had a non-alcoholic beer. After a few sips, Tommy said to me, “Mom, I wasn't going to tell you this until you were on your deathbed, but Maggie lifted her head up twice after you left.”. I asked him if he thought she knew I wasn't there.  He was sweet and said “no mom”.  He said the doctor and the assistant cried as they injected her.  She was a good old girl.  She was the best dog and the worst dog.

I will miss her love.

Blogging at the Laundromat

Just catching up after returning from Ireland, last Chemo and 11 days of company for Cherry Festival....the Cherry Festival is what started it all for the Brick's moving to Traverse City 17 years ago now.  WOW!

Saw the radiooncologist the day before my last chemo.  I have to have six weeks of radiation, should only take 5 to 10 minutes, five days a week for six weeks.....it is that long because the size of the Boob, not because of the kind of cancer. 

Talk about "Shades of Grey", (if you have read it you know what I am talking about,if not, oh well).. Dr.H and a tech had to Tatoo me to get ready for when I start my treatments...Aug 7th...SO...they put me on a table, boob exposed, knees up and over a triangular pillow, ankles strapped together, arms lifted up and over my head,not allowed to move, with two men looking at me (sorry Dr.Leslie H but true!!!) and so I said to them “hey, this is just like out of the book,”Shades of Grey”..and they knew what I was talking about but denied reading it!  Whoops...all about the position which reminded me of the book!

Last Chemo...Whoopee was Tuesday, July 3rd.  I wore the Conehead wig (?) provided me by Katie M once again!  It was the “piece de resistanz”...one of the nurses couldn't stop laughing and I am sure put my picure on her Facebook page after she took my picture. Dr. K wondered in amazement what they would do without me (sorry but I pray I don't ever have to go back) and the other patients just wondered about me when I walke into the treatment area.  I told them that I had finally gone bald.

Final symptoms from Chemo so far;

Nails are awful...may lose them..but hey they have fakes for that!

No eyelashes..my eyelids look like inside out little vulvas!

Watery eyes...never stops and make- up doesn't stay on. REALLY ANNOYING!

But I still have my eyebrows, just in case I bought fakes!

Thankfully I haven't gotten sick, because I had a whole houseful of guests and kids with sore throats this week!

A few cold sores in the mouth.

Weight gain,  oh yeah, that's not because of the Chemo, it is because of the company and partying!

Gotta go....my laundry at the laundromat is done (yep, my washing machine broke while I had a house of 11)..more company tomorrow.

Christian music is playing in the Laundromat...it is beautiful,  I take it as a Sign, to live everyday to the fullest!  That is hard to do sometimes, but I am trying!

I pity the Cancer- Mrs. T-Linda

Repaired Booby goes to Ireland

Repaired Booby goes to Ireland

Two days post my #5 Chemo we left for our long awaited family trip,to Ireland!  Of note about my fifth session, I wore a Mr T wig provided for me by Sue M and Katie M. Of course I had to complete the outfit with the customary set of lots of gold chains.  Dr.K doesn't quite know what to do with me...but he did say his office will miss me when I stop coming.  The curious thing that he said though was ”after this, there is nothing more I can do for you”.  That didn't sound very promising, so I will have to question him about this on my last visit, July 3rd.

Worst thing about my reactions this time is the damn watery eyes...I look like my eyelids have been turned inside out and my eyes look like a ”deer in the headlights”. I continue to have all my moles in various areas of my body, especially my chest, inflame and then finally settle down.  My left arm, the vein area where the chemo goes in appeared to burn this time.  Kinda bothers me because there aren't too many choices when it comes to this without having to do a port...my right arm is out of commission because of the lymph nodes that were removed.  Oh and my finger nails look hideous, as if they are lifting because all of the sudden there is more white than pink...but they are stronger then they have ever been...weird!

I am going to get a second opinion about the melano-cysts that were found in the lymph nodes to make sure that they are not a precursor to anything else..I expect to hear from the University of Michigan's Melanoma clinic when I get home....but first I have my sister's family coming to visit, and a week of Cherry Festival to get through first!

So...our trip to Ireland included our whole family, DJ, Megan and Joe, Tommy and Jack! A trip we have dreamed about for five years!  The timing was just right!  College graduations accomplished, DJ leaving for law school in August, Megan and Joe moving into their first big home two days after they return, and Jack’s summer school schedule  accommodating his absence.

We had lots of laughs, lots of Guinness and  Bulmers, Beautiful countryside and breathtaking shorelines.  We dined at some very special places taking advantage of eating all of the fresh seafood which we are not used to having in Traverse City.  For three days we all stayed in one house together which was a blast..except the mattresses sucked!  But it was fun to have us all together under one roof and able to relax in the living area by a fire. (interesting sharing two baths with 7 people, only 2 women sharing with all of the guys, toilet seats always left up..I actually thought I had taught them all better than that!)

The biggest lesson of the trip for me is that as much as I know that I will always be their mom, and want to help them with suggestions about how to navigate life with my recommendations, they are no longer mine.  I don't own them, and they don't owe me anything.  They will go through the passages of their lives without requiring my assistance and really not wanting my advice too often, and only if they ask.  And once they ask, chances are they will not take my advice anyway...it is just the way Life is meant to be...they all have to row their own boat.  All I can do is pray they all have safe journeys,  that they are happy in their hearts, and hope they know how deeply I love each and every one of them, and hope they forgive me for any mistakes they feel I made raising them.  And hope that someday they understand...

My hope is that we can keep them all together at least once each year so they realize the importance of staying close even if they live far apart.  Often a struggle for many families, and I can't say that I have been good about keeping close to my own relatives.  Once you have your own children, you make them so important for so long, you are like in a fog trying to raise them.  And the distance of the miles makes it hard too! 

Of course, by the next big trip, they should all be able to take us!!!!!

It was a blast, and certainly a bucket list for us all!

We had a family photo taken by Elaine Kennedy while in Dingle.  I will be excited to see it...wig, watery eyes and all.. . Of course everyone gave me grief about it...can't wait until they all try to do their own photos with their families someday ...what goes around comes around and I hope I will be around to just smile at their frustration and tell them ”I know how you feel”.

IREland....goodbye!

Dear Diary after Chemo #4

So I haven't written in awhile...busy with company from Minnesota after chemo #4. Sue M. And Katie M., mother and daughter who helped me make it through. Just needed two naps...and I kept up. I will admit that I go to bed earlier these days. The hot topic was "Shades of Grey"' so I admit I am reading it...Holy Smoke...the "vanilla sex" just about did me in....and my 26 year old daughter has read all three books. Man, I sure didn't tell her enough about the "facts of life" based on this book, YIKES! Some of the girls in my book club thought it was just wrong.....so a few of us started a "sub"club" and we will have props to show for our next reading. Holy Cow .....even the town of Newport , Rhode Island is hot for this book..the book store in town is buying back used copies because they can't keep them on the shelves. Those of you who have read the book will know the meaning behind the use of the phrase "Holy________" because the lead character uses it a lot and she is a very well read heroine!!!! .I will probably have a hard time sitting still on the plane as we fly to Ireland next week (all 7 of us! :) as I intend to download the next two sequel books on my IPAD so I have some good reading for the trip. Symptoms now are dry skin, it wants to crawl, rummy eyes again although not as bad, burnt tongue, and kinda pooped! Work is ending for e...not sure if I quit or just got ignored. Stress causes cancer,,,hmmmm! Needing to catch up with friends...but tired now and will sleep. " Shepard Me O God Beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into Life"

Sitting in Chemo #4

So I am sitting here in chemo with two men, wearing my purple wig with my pink breast cancer bra on over it. A slightly unconventional patient. Two more Chemos to go....will need two more wigs. Just waiting for my friends to show up with cameras and snacks...I have been so blessed to have such support! And I am amazed that I am doing so well..everyone else here this am is yellowish in color and sleeping. I slept well last night so I am not sleeping or snoring here today!! I have my singing class tonight ( yep this has been on my bucket list for over 15 years and this is a good reason to NOT put off what you want to do in Life. My next bucket list will be riding horses again) Work will definitely be on the back burner...just need a little to do weekly to keep me in the loop! (Maybe not!) Lastly book club tonight...didn't read the book but I am going to suggest "Shades of Grey". I think it is a sequel to "the fear of flying" which came out in the 1970's....so this book must be about baby boomer sex....wow and my daughter wants me to read it. This might be an over the top for my book club... The LOCQ's......which means "Lost Our Cherry Queens". You would have to live in Traverse City to get a part of the meaning for this....

'twas the night before #4

Laying in bed..taken the steriods today, and the Xanax tonight to take the edge of my thoughts... Lovely day, had a massage, then a drive in the country to dine for lunch at Fischer's Happy zhour to celebrate KB'S 60th birthday. It was somewhat difficult taking time off out of the day. I still could not let myself totally relax, still worried about work. I have got to get that corrected right out of my brain! But I did manage to slide back into work at four pm to check things out! I could start liking this time off thing! Xanax is working now,,I feel peaceful...I know I have two more of these "Super Vitamins that are kinda creepy but are helping me increase my survival rate" treatments to Go. I will have a treatment two days before we leave with all of our family to go to Ireland. Special precautions will have to be taken on the plane"but based on my last treatment..." IWill SURVIVE" and I will have my family around me as we travel. Tomorrow I will dress in purple, wear my new purple wig ( thanks to Katie and Sue Martin), and remind myself that I half it much easier than many of the others around me getting their chemo. Prayers for them. Good Night Moon,

Mother's Day 2012

A day late and a week or so short...but it was my best Mother's Day weekend ever..spent with my daughter Megan and her ever accepting of his MOL...my SOL...Joe! I went with them all day Saturday looking for houses...and of course I had the hardest time not putting my two cents in...in Japan the elders are considered for their wisdom...here, you have to watch about putting your two cents in! Lots of quipping with the realtor Michael who probably wanted to throw me out of the car when I asked too many questions and commented on his personal "too soon for activity with his new girlfriend"! I know I made points with Megan and Joe on that one!!!! Next time I go I will wear duct tape over my mouth! Sunday however was a very emotional day spent with Megan and Joe, Sue, Katie, and Tony Martin at the Susan G Koman Breast Cancer Race for the Cure at the Mall of America in Minneapolis. I decided we would decorate bras to wear over the outside of their racing clothes and so we did! We feathered, blinged ,used sparkly space looking balls, and cut nipple holes out of a bright red bra that my SOL Joe graciously wore in the race without complaining. I love him! And we were the ONLY ones wearing anything like that..getting comments from everyone. We were blown away that no one else had thought to do this...and there were LOTS of racers! ( of course we didn't see every one, but we like to think that we were trendsetters) 200K is the amount of people they thought were at this event. I saw friends crying and hugging as they finished the race...sobbing for someone they had lost due to this disease. Many raced with signs on their backs for "in memory of a loved one", but many wore signs celebrating survivors too! I choose to be a survivor, and I hope to run in that race next Mother's Day with my daughter. What a club to be in!

Mother's Day Weekend

So wonderful to be with my daughter Megan and my SOL Joe...they are a fun couple and it really gives me joy to see how much they love each other. Flew direct to Minneapolis because Delta FINALLY opened the route back up...and only $300...thanks for the deal Delta. Got to meet "The Office" where Megs works...so nice! Thursday...two and one-half hours in Target alone...lunch with Megs, three hours at "The Mall Of America"...actually I never made it out of Nordstroms. It is a good thing we moved away from all of this and that I live in Traveese City. I would seriously be in TROUBLE!!!! Friday...toodling around Minneapolis with cousin Sue...to the Arboretum to see Spring flowers and shop, to Pahl's Nursery to see lots of Pots and flowers, back to the MOA for more shopping and to pick up race packets for "The Susan B G. Koman Race for The Cure", Tiger Sushi, to see Sue's beautiful kitchen. And best of all to the Value Store to buy big bras to decorate for the race! And we found great ones to feather, and bling up with Sue M, Katie M, Megan O and me! Pizza and Girl Scout Thin Mint Chocolate cookies for dessert - that is why I am up in the middle of the night typing this...caffeine! L

One Week Ago!!

So after this past Chemo..which I think the doctor wants to do two than the original four just for extra help...not sure I want to but I guess I will have to do THREE MORE! I was more tired this time...but it could be because I partied for Cinco De Mayo with company and the family. We cooked Mexican food on Saturday..DJ made his famous guacamole, Dan, Uncle Tom and I all made Chicken mole, I made Spanish rice, Mexican flank steak, and we bought tamales! Found the best canned refried beans ever, why would I ever try to make them from scratch now? Oh and don't forget the Margaritas. Unfortunately I cooked again and it all tasted like S_IT because of the Chemo. So, I slept a little more...just naps from all the partying! THE OTHER SYMPTOMS.... Food still tastes like S_IT.....it is like my tongue is burnt and for a much longer time this time. No sores inside though so thAt is good! No hand rash...Yeah!!! My fingernails hurt, but they are not numb. They actually seem to be stronger. Weird. The chemo goes through your whole system...and it burns the whole EXIT area...leaving a few sores. I will have to find some type of homeopathic treatment for the next time. Cotton underware for sure....annoying. Otherwise I am back up and running. So I guess the next treatment is May 23rd, and I will be 2/3rds done! Much easier than most of the patients that I spend time with at the oncologist's office. Much easier than some of my friend's I know.

Steroids, Chemo 3, and Xanax!!!!!!!!!

Rainy day as I sit here having my Super Vitamins injected in my left arm, they can never use my right arm forever because of the lymph node removal on that side. I am wearing a black T Shirt that Tobi C, who does my pedicures in life, made for me to wear today. It has white letters on it that says "Save Second Base". I am also wearing my son Tommy's platinum mullet wig!  So what does the steriods do for me....well I stayed awake all night and never went to bed! Working on a FuN project for the office that no one even knows that I am doing. That is impressive. I am so tired!!!! No sleep last night and so I am fading here, I also have a full bladder and I can hardly stay awake.    (I wrote that when I was totally asleep!)

Everyone was excited as I snored during my procedure - I kept catching myself - and would wake up and everyone laughed.   I had also taken the two Xanax - did I say how much I like these for this anxiety thing pre-procedure.  I am very lucky because I have no problems during the chemo time.
This is the first time that I slept.  Paula came to visit me and brought me a muffin.  She caught me sleeping when she came in. I scarfed down the muffin.  I gained 2 lbs this trip - have to watch out!  Bob and Shelley, her hair stylists sent us the attractive rain bonnets to protect our hair - wow - I never thought that I would wear something like this - but hey, they work.
I was really done when Paula arrived - so we went back to Salon Elan to show them my choice of wigs!  I thought this was platinum, but it was really yellow!

Dr.  K is thinking he will have me do two more, so a total of 6 procedures - just for good luck I guess.  He said he will see how this one (#3) and the next  one (#4) goes before he decides.  Maybe I am looking too good and too funny - but if I need it as an extra procaution - I guess I will go for it.   We will see - -

Listening to a GREAT tape - Anti Cancer - A New Way of Life - worth everyone reading.

Going to try to go out for Mexican Food tonight - probably the last night that food will taste good for awhile!   For my last treatment - I think I will have a big SURPRISE for the office!  I keep them cracking up - at least for now!

Sent from a Dear Friend

How To  Plant Your Garden 

First,  you  Come to the garden alone,
 while the dew is still on the roses. 


FOR THE  GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING  , 

  PLANT THREE ROWS  OF PEAS : 



  1. Peace of  mind
2. Peace of heart
 3. Peace of soul

   PLANT FOUR  ROWS OF SQUASH: 


1. Squash gossip 
2.  Squash indifference 
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash  selfishness

PLANT  FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 



  1. Lettuce be faithful
  2. Lettuce be kind 
  3.  Lettuce be patient 
  4. Lettuce really  love one another 


NO  GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:



 1. Turnip for meetings
  2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another 


TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN YOU MUST  HAVE   THYME: 


 1. Thyme for God
   2. Thyme for each other
  3. Thyme for family
  4. Thyme for friends 
WATER FREELY WITH  PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE.    THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU  REAP WHAT YOU  SOW.  NOT BAD,  HUH?!

My instructions were to send this  to people that I wanted God to bless and I  picked you! 



"IN GOD WE TRUST" 

 

A True Love Lost

There is no other Love, that is as unconditional, always looking deep into your eyes with Love, waiting for your return, longing for your presence. Satisfied with any time you give at all, not ever judging you. Your heart is touched as you go about your day, thinking about what awaits your return with an openness given so freely.

Ever faithful, ever forgiving,ever loving... It is so obvious that your dear four legged friend has all the attributes, and is closest to being like God than many of us can ever hope to be.


In Memory of Ginger Kirkpatrick. 04-25-12. R.I.P.

Funny

Ok, so I am in the FALL of my life...not the summer I think. Something about turning 60 makes me think I have crossed that line. So I took a shower yesterday and still wash my head, it still has the shaved look...I am not bald yet. Got out of the shower and dried off. As I was getting dressed, I looked in the mirror and realized I had my towel wrapped around my head like I would normally do when I had hair. I laughed out loud at the realization I just automatically had wrapped my head in a towel as if I had hair! Speaking of hair....I love my wig. I am getting more compliments about it....especially from men. Yesterday one of our bankers told me with Dan there that he really liked my new haircut. I just smiled and thanked him, looking at Dan. And it is so easy! I am thinking it is time to go get it washed...the woman who I bought it from includes that in the purchase but she needs it for four hours! Yikes....might have get another one to get by. Big Smile, my biopsy for my mole was clear for any melanoma. Thank you Lord!

If I Die Young, Bury me in Satin

The Band Perry - Great Song! The good news is that I am not going to die young. In fact I am in the summer of my living! I did go to a funeral this week for a 92 year old woman, I never knew her, but being the mother of a friend,and her being 92 years old, I thought I should attend! OMG, the funeral home was packed for her! Lots of family and friends! The best part was seeing the coffin...so cute!!! It was a white enameled coffin and all the grandchildren and family members had written notes on it to her in various colored marking pens, it was such a great idea! There were lots of older people there...and all i can say is I am glad I only had stage one BC! Dying is something you do...up until then you are still living. It's how you live that counts. Even if you are in pain, or stressed, it is how you decide to live through it. Makes sense...paraphrased word from a wise doctor. God news this week: White blood cell counts are great! No melanoma freckles on the retinas of my eyes! Still waiting for path report on a mole that I had checked....just to be safe! Lots of ladies around that have had breast cancer...and they are all different, but we still compare. One friend, Jane McC, told me she had a cup taken out of her boob and she had gained 13 pounds during chemo. After my first treatment, I was actually thinking I would be losing about 10 pounds and I was counting on it! But after this second treatment, I have been starving!!! Yikes.. I am going to have to be careful. I am reading at night before I go to bed, it is more peaceful! I cannot understand why a man would do a buzz cut on their head. My hair hurts when I rub my hand over it. Weird! I am waiting for my cousin Uncle Tim to come out of arm surgery, we are blessed to have such a great hospital in our area. I even went to the cafeteria just for some tapioca pudding. Hmmmm, I don't want to gain 13 pounds!

5 days Post Chemo

So, I guess I have been busy! Just trying to prove I can still be at work and matter. Seems to be a theme that is holding me back and that I need to let go of...because no one else really cares except me! My mom quit working at fifty, and could never make herself feel worthy enough after that... I don't want to go there...but there really is something being involved with keeping up with technology,I worry for my grandchildren to be...., this is serious. Otherwise there are just service jobs for the future. <(Debbie Downer). Anyhow....I went to work after chemo on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So "Ta Dah". I did it.. Side effects from chemo....much different this time...only a little achy, still haven't taken any nauseous pills, only two naps for two hours, slightly funny tongue, but not so metallic-ee! However I cooked dinner on Sunday night, and everything tasted like salt...I had to keep having Dan and DJ taste the food to make sure it was ok....I hope they weren't lying. I did make spaghetti, which Dan took over making at home for the last thirty years. I could tell he was agonizing and aweating it out because I was not making it his way. He actually complemented me at the end of the night saying it was good! That was like the horse being taken to the water and actually drinking it! Sure hope he wasn't telling me that because I just had Chemo! I did a lymph massage on Friday, they tell me I have to do it for the rest of my life on Sunday. It involves massaging the limb that is now disabled forever, (which I have been telling everyone that Dan is going to have a diamond and ruby bangle made that says "limb alert" for me to wear forever...so I don't forget they can't take blood or my blood pressure on my right arm. I am actually hoping he listens and has one made...I may have to lay the ground work for it though....besides...I am due! (just kidding, he has always been very generous..this is just a novel idea). So the next day after the massage, my hand broke out in a burning rash. I wanted to blame it on massaging my hand while the chemo was still running around in my body...but it broke out on both hands. I saw the dermotologist today, and she prescribed a cortisone cream for me! Hope it works, because this sure burns. But again, I am constantly coming across others that are far worse. I have a friend that told me her hands and feet are always broken out and burn! I am a lucky one for sure! The dermotologist also did a biopsy on a mole that's changed colors..but just since the chemo started. I have watched the mole forever....so we will see on Friday to make sure it is nothing. She doesn't think it is a problem, so let's keep our fingers crossed. The next step is to have an eye exam and make sure I don't have any weird retinal cancer spots since I have these weird neuro-melanin cells in my lymph. I have always been a mole-ee person forever! Of course the dermotologist does not haven't a single freckle on her skin...how do you do that? I should have protected my kids more!!!! More cards, presents, and flowers! I can't thank everyone enough for everything, and from my best friends, their time and support! I wouldn't know all about this after I die, so it means so very much now. Again, I am so very lucky...my goal now is to just make sure I live my life as He would want me to,so that my Eternal Life is deserved..there really is nothing more I could want...sure to be there for my children and husband and future grandchildren, but in the end..our life on earth is really all about the end game. Of course I hope that is for at least another Twenty years! I am going to die trying anyway!!!! And results of my chemo symptoms.. I don't have to cook or wash dishes for at least a week after chemo!!! Goodnight Moon!

Chemo #2

So, went to breakfast with Dan after packing my bag for the office (the oncolgist's office where I will be for three hours)at McDonald's for coffee and oatmeal! 9:15 am is my appointment time so I have to in for CBC labs first. Ruth was not my friend, the pin prick in my finger hurt, and it hurt worse than anything else that happened today! I saw Dr. K and told him I did well my first treatment and he agreed. He liked the new me wherein I switched my real wig out for Katie M's Hot Pink Wig and my new boa and pink t-shirt from Halee B! Of course Melanie who was my nurse today got a big kick out of it and Tami from the last time told me she figured. Meganne McC came to take pictures of me on her birthday! I had her Easter present with me that said "wine takes the bitch out of me". Seriously she liked it! What a great friend to continually photograph me! Paula P dropped by during my chemo to give Meganne her beautiful birthday necklace. I still have to get her present. I spoke to some of the other chemo gals today....one has been in about 18 times for lung cancer! She looked like she was in her 70's and was very chipper. Another young woman walked in and after Paula and Meganne left I questioned her! She had breast cancer and thyroid cancer previously. She has had 16 chemo appts and the next 6 weeks she has to have chemo! 32 years old with four children, with a smile on her face. What an inspiration.....I will pray for her everyday...I will see her in three weeks. Ok...I went shopping and bought a green sweatshirt for Ireland and a shawl for Church. THEN I WENT AND HAD MY HEAD SHAVED to beat the mess...it is a buzzed 0, the kind Dan used to do for the boys! Went to work for two hours...might get used to this! I left the refrigerator wide open after I left for work this am after I took all my herbal extras! Yikes, good thing DJ went home for lunch and discovered it! The men in my house don't want to see me bald...so I am wearing a soft "swimming cap look" hat made for me by a dear friend! Goodnight Moon! We will see about tomorrow!

Tomorrow I will wear PINK!

Twas the Night Before Chemo #2

Ok - I admit my anxiety level is building...here is what I did to counteract it today! I started out with Pilates at 5:00am with Maggie and Tobi for an hour of talking,sharing and stretching... 2 hour meeting at Brick Packaging....probably not so good for me...but I did share some feelings...connected with Papi so that worked out OK. Massage with KB at 1:00pm....one hour of sharing and then finally relaxing! A massage is good for the body and the soul. A visit to "The Herb Shop" in TC.. Purchased Aloe Drink to heal from the inside, Vitamin B-12 equal to a shot for stamina, and live probiotics to ward off the mouth and VAJJ infections....we will see if these help this time! OK THIS IS MY FIRST TIME TO REALLY GET INTO THE WHOLE "what you put into your body thing from an herbal level". I will document the difference between my symptoms from the first treatment to see if there is any difference. I don't think it can hurt except for the $$$$$$ I spent. And I promise to not wear Birkenstocks and let the hair grow under my arm pits....it is going to fall out anyway so I don't have to worry about that one. I am sorry for the Hippie profiling, but I was never into that 60's thing anyway! Yes...I like TIM TEBOW!!!! Tonight we went to Seven Monks downtown for dinner. I admit I did pig out....braised veal shank, wine, an incredible chocolate chip ginger cookie with MOOMER'S ice cream....... AND TWO XANEX before I went to bed! "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want ...." Goodnight Moon!

Work at Brick Packaging

I probably should QUIT...it is not healthy for me, even though I like working. . .

Mommy and Tommy's Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-qQcNT_fY

1000 Things

It is 3:35AM Monday morning...I have 1000 things to do before Wednesday and the second round of SUPER VITAMINS at Dr. K's. 1000 things....notes and thank you cards, continue to put away Christmas and organize my Hobby room, finish filing the 2011 and 2010 tax information away (about time for 2010...it has been sitting on the study floor for over a year now), make new files and continue cleaning out the file cabinet in the study, start to clean out the filing cabinets in the basement with all of the old Brick Container paperwork that we can finally throw away after ten years,go through the ten bins of pictures of my life and my family's life for the past 31 years....hmmm I am out of time already. I pray that I can get all these things done in 1000 days...just about 3 years... I can not rub my head because every time I do, my hair falls out! Fortunately it doesn't hurt! I am going to be really PISSED if I lose my eyebrows...after my breasts and feet, they are the next prettiest feature. I have...(my eyelashes are one of the worst, so if they go I will just get some falsies!) My friend Meganne McC took pictures of my hair that I have now with Maggie and the hair that she has now...just as short. They say you start to look like your dog...well we match. Pictures soon!

Good Friday's Loss

Today was spent in reverence to our Lord.....Good Friday services at St. Joe's with Father Thome who makes any Mass, although today is the only day of the yearning the Catholic Church there is not a mass...we a L read the Passiom together, then venerated And kissed the Cross..... Jessica (Jack's GF) and I met BB, Halee, Peter and Blake at the theater to watch "The Hunger Games".....which I was totally unprepared for! Good thing I stuck a small bottle of rum ( I knew that is what BB likes, so yes I am blaming it on her ) in my purse for our $18 pop and popcorn! I have to say though....I rant to read all of the books now. So I hope my daughter pops the first one in the mail to me soon, I came home from dinner at the Elks, and wondered what was all over my black jacket? Lots of little white things... I can pick the hairs off my head by the handful....tomorrow I will shave my head for real...I will be totally humbled by Easter...I am reading at Church on Sunday...now the use of the Wig will be for real.... And yet this week I witnessed so many people that have it so much worse than I do...their burdens so much heavier... I am blessed to be where I am right now...and God will see me through this...His will, not mine. And I will wear my NEW PINK WIG to Chemo this Wednesday...5 more days of feeling good ahead!

Finely Feeling Like Myself

So ten days after chemo I am finely feeling like my old self.  I find myself "nesting" and wanting to get A LOT done, because I only have ten more days to feel so good!  Not that I am complaining too much, but I sure am amazed by the numbers of people that I know going through this process . . . I am lucky that I have started from a healthy starting point -

I cooked all day today - started cleaning out closets,  ran errands,  and finally took the WIG off, and walked in and told DJ he would just have to deal with the real me.  It went OK - and he agreed that Maggie and I look a lot alike!

The WIG does get hot!

I think I should write that letter to each one of my children that I told myself I would do the last couple of years now.  So they would know how much I truly love each one of them,  to tell them I am sorry if I ever hurt them - expectations of perfection ran deep in my childhood - but most of all to try to give them some bits of wisdom that has taken me 6o years  to learn (and now wrangle with the idea that I may succumb to this cancer at some point in my life - even if it is 20 years from now), wisdom that may help them make it through life a little easier.  I will love them all forever - throughout eternity. 

My mother left me a note that I discovered after she died on the back of my baby picture, "Linda, I will love you throughout eternity - Mother."   I didn't really know or appreciate how much she loved me, no matter how difficult the years were with her,  until I actually had my first child.  

Lessons learned in Life are not always timely.

WIG - Day ONE

So I ventured forth on my first full day back to work - wondering why I really was going back to work as sleeping in a little has been starting to feel good!

First test for the WIG - the coffee shop I go to almost everyday before I go to work in downtown Traverse City proir to my surgery -  I walked in and the owner Alice said to me "wow - what did you do? Did you get a divorece?  You look hot!"   And the young man barrista next to her smiled.   I leaned in closer and said "No - pointing to my boob - bad booby  - it's a wig". They marveled over how good it looked - and the young male barrista said to me "I couldn't even tell it was a wig".  So why am I telling people???

I went to work and everyone liked the WIG - loved the style - the problem is it is a style which I have tried to do for over fifty years - but my hair does not go straight!!   I am thinking I may get another one, because to tell you the truth - it is really easy and saves time in the morning.

The next test for the WIG, I went into our local gourment deli in town -  Burrit's - and the owner Ken B, whom we sell to, came up to me, said "Hi", and actually said "Boy I really like your hair.  You must have just gotten it done - it looks great!"  I smiled and said "Yes I did" and thanked him with a little blush.
Lesson Learned.

It SNOWED on the WIG today too -   I was worried about that too!   It survived.


Oh well  - about 50% of the town knows, the other 50% who don't know me will like my new hair.

I went home and wore the WIG as I prepared dinner and thought to myself - this WIG is going to end up getting food and grease on it as I cook!  But still I wasn't ready to let DJ see me without my WIG and see my really really short silver hair.   Protecting the first of the brood still - - -he is still my biggest baby.   (Good thing he is not interested in this blog!)

Maggie Brick

She is my special love....today she was shaved down as close as my haircut last night...she is hanging in there for me!  We look alike...both Silver!

It is done

Jana, Linda, Meganne, and Paula all went with me to my "champagne shave".....which my hair stylist Melissa decided I should just be shorn about 1/2" instead. Good idea! Wow, the real me is almost all silver white..except for two brown spots on either side of my forehead. (from the twins) It was a fun time, we drank champagne, ate chocolate dipped strawberries by Paula, chocolates and cookies from Herrod's in England. Took lots of pictures and videos...and laughed! I am not sorry for doing this today, I feel in charge for the time being. Until the Super Vitamins take over again. I will still shave it all when the hair actually falls out. My friend Mary will be in chemo every three weeks for forever....if anyone deserves a daily prayer it is her. She told me that all white things taste good. I told her how funny that just the night before I had white bread at a restaurant and it was the first thing that tasted good all week! I remember how in awe I was of everything I saw daily in Michigan when we first moved here. I need to do that more now. At least tonite when the chemo hot flashes hit....my hair won't be sweaty. I can sleep in for fifteen minutes longer before I get up to go to work too! Tomorrow we will see who guesses I have a wig on. Will post pictures tomorrow

Today's List

Finally feeling like me - got a great night sleep thanks to the Tylenol PM

HOT FLASHES ARE BACK THOUGH - man I really thought I was done with them - sweating out all of those great SUPER VITMAINS I suppose - my bed is really bionic now!

TAXES - Finally done!  Taking them to the Accountant now - realized that I never balanced my personal checkbook all last year with the stress from working at Brick Packaging and trying to stay releveant with the new computer programs.  Like our OLD accountant said . . Linda the  accounting principles don't change - but what a pain when it takes someone to study the darn program 16 hours a day to learn it - ok, I am not being fair - some in the office get the program.  I am just PISSED about it though.  I would like to call Bill Gates up myself and see if he even knows  how to work his own Microsoft programs.  Has anyone else thought about how it has been 30+ years now and the programs keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger - more they can do and more to learn.  I keep telling my kids that I hope they keep learning all of these programs and don't just rely on what they orignally learned.
DO CHILDREN REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR MOMS!



Ok - so now that I have that off of my chest -

The PLAN FOR TODAY - "CHAMPAGNE SHAVING"!

Yes - I have invited a few close girlfriends to go with me today to my hairdresser to shave my head.  Really you say?  Well, I decided since I am starting to look like a skunk with my one inch WHITE hair coming out,  I am not going to pay for it to be dyed since I should be losing it within the week or so FOR SURE -  so instead of watching it fall out in clumps and in our food - I AM GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF IT.   I may post a video just so any of you that are following my blog can see. . .
I hope I can drink some of the champagne - alcohol doesn't taste so good right now! 

This does it for me!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvdX5yMHvxc

Katie Walters

Katie came by to see me on Saturday - to remind me that I have to take her to the airport on Tuesday April 3rd,  she kept telling me Wednesday April 3rd, and I said "No, Katie - Tuesday is April 3rd".

She finally agreed .  she is Nana's sister and always has an honest word to say - she doesn't have a filter, but then Nana would say that those that are "special" speak with a clear heart.

She asked how I was feeling and I said pretty good.   She went on to say "Yep you know when you get the cancer, it always comes back. There isn't a way of stopping it, it always comes back.  That's the bad thing about the cancer, it always comes back."

All I could do was agree with her.  Hopefully it won't come back for about 20 years - my grandmother lived until 98!!!

No blogging for 2 days!

Friday and Saturday SUCKED!   I thought I would be just flying through it easily - but . . .feels like a terrible flu - every bone and muscle in my body ached.  Food tastes crappy too - a metallic taste for sure.

I made it into work on Thursday - spent Friday with Tommy driving me around.  Out to breakfast  - errands together - and some "special stuff" that Tommy asked me not to blog about.  Our secret!  :)

Did manage to go the Elk's Club for our weekly meeting Friday evening - just drank a lot of soda water.

Saturday am Dan drove Tommy and I down to Ferris State to see Jack. (I slept the whole way down and back. - Good thing Dan changed his plans.)  Jack drove Tommy the rest of the way to Kalamazoo to get the train to go back to Chicago. 

Spring Break used to be so much fun -  we would bundle our little family up and go away.  Now it is all gone - it sure went by too fast!  No one is in town this week that has kids - they are off on their spring breaks!

Saturday night Dan and I went out for some tomato soup - and lots of club soda.  It was good,  the bread tasted the best!  I scarfed it down!  It didn't taste like metal.

We went to bed at 8:30pm - how weird is that!  Dan is leaving for two weeks for the last of the trade shows - If I feel good - I may have DJ drive me down to Louisville, KY next week - we will see.  I cannot fly though.

Chillin

I figured how to blog from my phone!  No Chemo Brain yet!  In fact I feel good....just waiting for some sort of shoe to drop...but praying it is a small size one.

Tommy helped me get dinner ready...all prepped, just have to cook when Dan gets home.

So many cards, letters, gifts in the mail...I am so blessed, especially when I know that everyone has their own challenges too.   It is so important to take extra time for others.

How will I get all my thank you notes done!
Haven't even done Christmas 2011 notes yet!  Oh well,  can't go backwards, just onward now.

The forsythias are blooming now...we usually don't see them until the end of May....  Everything is different this year!

"Share your breath of life with others, and let the riches overflow. "  Angel Prayers by Sally Sharp

1st Day After

The hot flashes started last night!   WET!  But, that is the only symptom so far!

Did Pilates at 5:00am this morning with the group - Maggie, Tobi, Dr. John, and John - decided I better show up because they are all wearing the CANCER SUCKS t-shirts I bought them all back in December for Dr. John - who is an amazing inspiration because his cancer really SUCKS!  But he is hanging in there and fighting hard - he didn't even lose his hair.

Went back to bed after Pilates - 6:15AM - WAITING to see if I felt anything yet.
Slept until 9:00am - then Tommy (son #3) and I went to Chez Peres for breakfast - he loved it!  Cafe Au Lait and Beignets!

I had to go back to the oncologist's Dr.K for a shot!  It is supposed to help me grow bone marrow and muscle cells because the SUPER VITAMINS kill these as well as any wayward cancer cells.  When I walked in, one of the technicians said, "hey weren't you the lady in here yesterday with the green hair?"  I said "yes", and he said "well I was wondering if I would know who you were without it?"  I said, "I am hard to forget huh?"  Humble.

Well, I was really humbled because they made me go back to the room where they had my chemo yesterday for the shot!  Tammi, my new BFF oncologist nurse asked me my last name - I told her BrickHouse - she smiled because she remembered me from yesterday.  And then she asked me if my age was then 02-12-1942 just to be smart back at me.  Shot was easy - seeing all the men today in the barcoloungers was not - they all looked like they were ready to die.  I put my fingers in my ears and went "LALALALALA" as one was describing his ordeal.  I hope he didn't have breast cancer.

Still feeling well -so I went to the grocery store - -

I made my stop into the office - to answer emails and show them that I am still here!  I do like to make sure that everyone is enjoying their job - it is hard when you are the wife in the office - I hear all the water cooler talk which Dan doesn't even know exists!   But hey - I have been here since 2003.  I will work more from home in the future I think.

Drinking lots of water -  I guess my urine is dangerous - per the instruction booklet - all the chemo washes out in 48 hours - so I can't have any chemical splashes!!!!!  So I double flush and spray with chemicals to clean the bowl and seat!  Housework!

The book even talks about sexuality while you are on chemo - REALLY?? 

I opened my Angel book today that Di gave me so long ago - I close my eyes and open it randomly -

Today's reading was for "The Angel of Living" - Living with God in your heart - and living with other's that way.

Goodnight First Chemo Day

Took two Xanex at the doctors office today before I started the Super Vitamins!  I wore my green wig - and my angel wings - and my pink breast cancer t-shirt that Chris from "Chris's Things Co" gave me at a trade show - it says "Fight Like a Girl, Drink Like a Lady", with a big wine glass in the middle - a heart is in the wine of the glass, and the breast cancer symbol is on the stem - two fold for us women!! And did I forget to say that it has a lot of BLING on it!  Quite a site I was!  Dan met with me to meet the Dr. - lots of instructions - and then off I went.  No point in having Dan stay there with me for two hours - he would have gone nuts.
My BFF Paula showed up with a present - I love it!  - a purple watch with bling.
I even drove myself home after Dr. K said he didn't think it would be a good idea the first time -
But, I did well during the treatment - took myself to lunch, then picked up my real wig - then even went to work for about 2 hours. . like I said I would!

Came home - answered emails and texts - relaxed with my boys - DJ and Tommy - and then went out to dinner at Peninsula grill -

I still feel great today!  We will see what tomorrow brings -  I am prepared - and I will open my angel book by my bed in the morning and find what awaits me for tomorrow -

Good night - I feel calm - oh yes, I took two more Xanex before bed!  Brushed my teeth and rinsed with warm salt water - and had a glass of Citricel just to be prepared.
I just need to be able to get it down so I can post from my smart phone (which is being really dumbe) and my Ipad - which maybe with the update will work - more technology and I don't like being behind!

Goodnight Moon!

chemo now

Minutes before the poking of the arm!  Total time about 2 hours!

Seriously, I bought a new Nordstrom bra about two weeks ago and I am wearing it!

It is all me there minus the lump - but it sure looks like I had a boob job -

maybe just put on at few pounds.  I was hoping to lose weight over all of this, but they are telling me NOT to lose weight!  I am still going to try the weight watcher way!

Wigging Out!

When I told my mother stop wigging out so many years ago, who knew I would be making a post on her blog about Wigs! 
My mom has decided to have other help choose the best for her, as they all look good! Post your comments below on your favorites:)

This Wig would come in her Natural Brown coloring., or we could leave it Blonde!

 

Thanks you all for looking and telling us your favorites:)  I know your thoughts, comments and prayers mean the world to my mother, and for the rest of my family.

You can vote - but I actually picked out another one altogether - have you seen the Girl With The Dragon tatoo?   The Swedish version??

Twas the Night before Chemo

Right now I am so mad because I wrote a post on my Ipad  Sunday night- it did not  take, so I rewrote it again on my ipad and watched myself save it - and it still did not save.  Poop!

Anyhow - started the steroids today - went to my 5:00am pilates class and did my best.  Spending time with my friends in this class for five years - Dr. John has cancer too, he is fighting so amazingly hard, he is an inspiration for me.

I had a massage with KB again this am - I love it!  And her words of inspiration are healing.

Dropped by the office for about three hours - just to let them know I still count!

Tommy is home this week on his spring break - most boring one he has ever had.  But he did manage to go flying today!

Tommy picked me up from  work and took me home - I slept from 3:15 to 5:45 pm . . .guess I was tired!!!!!!!


Taize mass with Meganne McC and Paula and Dr. Dr. at SF tonight-  I love the singing  part . .and the quiet.

We all went to dinner at Phil's on Front Street - yuky tonight, but good to be with friends!

I decided to have pecan cheesecake - that was good!

I will ask the Angels to be around me tonight - and tomorrow.  I have my Angel wings to wear during the treatment - thanks to my friend Diane . .who walked this path 30 years ago!

I will ask my Angels to be there tomorrow too.  

I will wear my green wig during chemo so no one knows what I really look like - and then my new wig the next time!   I did get my hair cut off short yesterday . . . just to get ready.

SUPER VITAMINS HERE I COME!

The Week Before Chemo

This will be the third time I have written this page -  I hope I can remember from Sunday March 11.  Just trying to catch up to stay current.

Saw Dr. Tom on Tuesday am -  I have to keep that thorn in my side, still in my side.  But I can go to Iowa with Dan.


Tuesday evening was spent at the Elm's Club with the most gentle man I have ever known - George - we toasted to his wife Lillian whom he had been married to for 60 years.  His love for her still, humbled me.  We will all work to help keep him busy as he spends time without her physically near.  He is 97 I think.

Dan and I leave Thursday for the Iowa trade show -  and return via Chicago on Saturday to catch up with Tommy.   Late dinner and wine . .and then off to O'Malley's for some green beer.  I wore my green wig  - - Dan and I were the oldest Irish in the place. . . saw some extremely dirty dancing while we were there, made ME blush!

Sunday we came home and Uncle Tim had made boiled dinner for us. . .what a treat! We ate outside as it was in the 70s . .weird weather.

Tommy was going out to meet with his good friend - and before he went out he shaved his head.
He looks very handsome.

Tomorrow I will see Dr. Tom again - and the week that I have probably been worried about the most is finally here.   Seriously,  I don't like to be sick!

Still catching up - March 6th -11th

Wednesday  Sophie kitty is staying in our home - Maggie walks up to investigate - Sophie kitty hisses.  Maggie is too old to go after her, so she just wonders.  "what the %&&%*^ is this kitty doing in my house?"

Karen and I go out to breakfast at Happy Hog Cafe - one woman, the owner is the only waitress and she is working so hard to keep up with all the tables.  I told her she needed some help, and she told me she brought a couple of extra girls in to help her.  They stay behind the breakfast bar the entire time we were there doing nothing - I was ready to get up and help her - the guys working there didn't help her at all much either - oh ok - they brought us some coffee.

Boy this is really a stretch now because I don't remember what has gone on the rest of this day - now 8 days ago!

We go to the 5:15 Mass at St. Joe's, Karen and Jack and I.  These are the masses during Lent that the Bishop has asked the parishes to hold in order to pray that the rights of all the churches in the USA are not trampled on my the Obama government.  We pray.

I believe we went to dinner at the Peninsula Grill this night - Jack comes with us too - SURPRISE!
Karen and I share a meal and Jack has a pizza.  Back home to a fire that Jack builds for me as we watch the dog try to make friends with the kitty.  No Way.

Tomorrow is the big day at the surgeon's office to find out the test results from the surgery.
I take two Xanex to go to bed, listening to my Ipad music of Adele's 21 album (awesome), Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" and "Slipping through my Fingers" from Mamma Mia.   I sleep OK.

Thursday
 Big day for me - the visit to see Dr. Tom a week after the surgery where the bad part of my booby was taken out.  Have I told you how happy I am with the results of my surgery?  About a three inch scar on the right side - but really hidden out of site.  Remember I forced Meganne McC to see it!

Dr. Tom comes in and he is sick!  He tells my sister and I that he can hardly talk and doesn't feel well.
He then tells me that the pathology report came back differently.  My heart sinks!  He then proceeds to tell us that there was no cancer in one of the sentinel nodes and that they are calling it a benign lesion. It is a nevus - I remember from histology class that a nevus is related to melanin and moles.  I show him that I have some moles on my breast - but nothing weird  trying to make him smile.  His face doesn't flinch.  So I ask him - am I supposed to be wearing a happy face with these test results?  He says yes and then leaves the room.  He is a man of few words - did I already say that.  At least I know he likes me so I take no offense.


My sister and I go out to our favorite restaurant - Chez Peres to celebrate.  In fact we have Mimosas with our breakfasts on a Thursday  - how decadent!  But then we think that we are really celebrating based on the news from the pathology report - although I still have to have chemo and radiation.

On the way out of the restaurant I see Leslie and Barb - both wives of radio oncologists. 
Dr Dave is married to Leslie (she was my past internist) and he will do my radiation.  I was originally scheduled for Barb's husband Dr. Mike, but he was on vacation at the time of my appointment so I am seeing Dr. Dave instead - I know Dave better so it worked out good for me!  Both are great doctors - we are blessed in this community.  Of course I was talking to the girls really fast because I forgot I had taken a Xanex before my doctors appointment - that PLUS a Mimosa PLUS Linda is like "WOW".   Most embarrassing though is that I introduce Barb to my sister as Judy.   Judy is actually the wife of Dr. Mike's brother Dr. Dan - who was the vet to our Sadie and Maggie OES dogs, so natural mistake.   Anyhow - years ago on a field trip with Tom and Jack's kindergarten class, I rode in the beautiful countryside of Leelanau Co with Barb - and we discussed Jesus from her religion's perspective and Faith - at that time back in the spring of 1996 I was just going through RCIA to become Catholic,so it was a moving discussion.  DJ and Megan were in the Grand Traverse Area Catholic School system at that time, but the kindergarten class was full, so Tommy and Jack were in the public school system at Eastern Elementary - quite an accomplished school as well - Barb and I lost touch after that year as the boys moved to Holy Angels the next year that we lived in Traverse City - I am still embarrassed that I forgot her name!

The rest of the day we run errands and go home to catch up with my TAXES.  Never got started!


Dinner out to Stella's with Karen, Jack, Meganne McC, Uncle Tim and KB the masseuse.  Food was great and we all had a lot of fun!  I now remember Maureen's name the waitress whom I met at Amanda's house - the owner of Stella's - man I hate this bad memory thing.  We are treated to deserts by Al - Carrie's husband (Carrie used to work for us at Brick Packaging) - drank some great wine and shared the food with all!

Jack drives us home!

Friday

The day after seeing Dr. Tom - I am still wondering if it is a happy face I am supposed to wear - I think so?   Karen and I go for lunch at Poppycock's - I buy extra tomato swiss soup for Dan and DJ as they are on their way home and Dan is not feeling well.  We will stay home tonight  which actually feels good.  Jack has left and taken Sophie kitty with him as he has to pick up Jessica at the airport later.  He did some chores for me and was a big help while he was home -

DJ and Dan return home - we have soup and go to bed early.


Saturday
My sister leaves today - we shower, get cleaned up and she packs -we load up the car.  She doesn't have to leave until 3:45pm.  We go to the Green House cafe for breakfast - only we eat lunch!  We run into several shops downtown to complete some errands. Karen had spotted a t-shirt bra in the french bra boutique we have downtown - I buy one - violet and it is lacy - it makes me feel better - although no under wire - not quite as perky as I used to be!  DJ meets us downtown at the bra shop - he has memories of being in the same shop when it was an Italian women's clothing line at men's downtown night during the  Christmas season.  Not telling that story on this blog  - it belongs to him.  Well I told DJ that I would take him to lunch - even though we had already eaten - you always make time for your kids no matter how old they are at the time.  He wants to go to Bubba's as he has discovered their Buffalo Wing Tater Tots are awesome!  He adds bacon and green onions to them and tells them they should patent it - whoa, DJ gave them the idea - maybe he will be a patent attorney.

DJ says his goodbye's to Auntie Karen.   Karen and I make one more errand to Staples before I drop her off at the airport.  I wish she could have stayed a week longer - I really would have put her to work helping get rid of all my extra stuff that I have saved all these years.  Stuff that I know my kids could care less about.

You can't take it with you - - - how true is that and how come you have to go through a lot of stuff to realise you can't take it with you  - - and HE does not want it anyway.


I am trying to remember what we did for dinner that night - I know I didn't cook.  Dan wants to cook a lamb shoulder for Sunday night dinner that he has pulled out of the freezer - the only food that my sister and I have let survive the four days of no refrigeration from the storm of March 2012!  I find a Jamie Oliver recipe off the food channel.  He will make this tomorrow - we usually do Sunday meals as often as we can - that is what Nana told Dan to do to make sure he kept them up!  (Four hours before she died - she gave each of us our marching orders! - If I could be half way like her!)


Sunday
Eleven o'clock church at St. Joe's - I don't see my friend Mary there so I am worried.  I actually have to read that morning - wow - I am blessed to be able to do that!

I text Mary to see if she is ok - she is on her way to Cadillac to celebrate a family birthday.  I breath a sigh of relief.  I am now her sister with this disease - BC!

Dan makes his recipe - I work up in our office - still the TAXES are not done!

The lamb recipe is wonderful - Uncle Tim comes over for dinner - we drink some fine wines - Life is Good!