5 days Post Chemo

So, I guess I have been busy! Just trying to prove I can still be at work and matter. Seems to be a theme that is holding me back and that I need to let go of...because no one else really cares except me! My mom quit working at fifty, and could never make herself feel worthy enough after that... I don't want to go there...but there really is something being involved with keeping up with technology,I worry for my grandchildren to be...., this is serious. Otherwise there are just service jobs for the future. <(Debbie Downer). Anyhow....I went to work after chemo on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So "Ta Dah". I did it.. Side effects from chemo....much different this time...only a little achy, still haven't taken any nauseous pills, only two naps for two hours, slightly funny tongue, but not so metallic-ee! However I cooked dinner on Sunday night, and everything tasted like salt...I had to keep having Dan and DJ taste the food to make sure it was ok....I hope they weren't lying. I did make spaghetti, which Dan took over making at home for the last thirty years. I could tell he was agonizing and aweating it out because I was not making it his way. He actually complemented me at the end of the night saying it was good! That was like the horse being taken to the water and actually drinking it! Sure hope he wasn't telling me that because I just had Chemo! I did a lymph massage on Friday, they tell me I have to do it for the rest of my life on Sunday. It involves massaging the limb that is now disabled forever, (which I have been telling everyone that Dan is going to have a diamond and ruby bangle made that says "limb alert" for me to wear forever...so I don't forget they can't take blood or my blood pressure on my right arm. I am actually hoping he listens and has one made...I may have to lay the ground work for it though....besides...I am due! (just kidding, he has always been very generous..this is just a novel idea). So the next day after the massage, my hand broke out in a burning rash. I wanted to blame it on massaging my hand while the chemo was still running around in my body...but it broke out on both hands. I saw the dermotologist today, and she prescribed a cortisone cream for me! Hope it works, because this sure burns. But again, I am constantly coming across others that are far worse. I have a friend that told me her hands and feet are always broken out and burn! I am a lucky one for sure! The dermotologist also did a biopsy on a mole that's changed colors..but just since the chemo started. I have watched the mole forever....so we will see on Friday to make sure it is nothing. She doesn't think it is a problem, so let's keep our fingers crossed. The next step is to have an eye exam and make sure I don't have any weird retinal cancer spots since I have these weird neuro-melanin cells in my lymph. I have always been a mole-ee person forever! Of course the dermotologist does not haven't a single freckle on her skin...how do you do that? I should have protected my kids more!!!! More cards, presents, and flowers! I can't thank everyone enough for everything, and from my best friends, their time and support! I wouldn't know all about this after I die, so it means so very much now. Again, I am so very lucky...my goal now is to just make sure I live my life as He would want me to,so that my Eternal Life is deserved..there really is nothing more I could want...sure to be there for my children and husband and future grandchildren, but in the end..our life on earth is really all about the end game. Of course I hope that is for at least another Twenty years! I am going to die trying anyway!!!! And results of my chemo symptoms.. I don't have to cook or wash dishes for at least a week after chemo!!! Goodnight Moon!