So ten days after chemo I am finely feeling like my old self. I find myself "nesting" and wanting to get A LOT done, because I only have ten more days to feel so good! Not that I am complaining too much, but I sure am amazed by the numbers of people that I know going through this process . . . I am lucky that I have started from a healthy starting point -
I cooked all day today - started cleaning out closets, ran errands, and finally took the WIG off, and walked in and told DJ he would just have to deal with the real me. It went OK - and he agreed that Maggie and I look a lot alike!
The WIG does get hot!
I think I should write that letter to each one of my children that I told myself I would do the last couple of years now. So they would know how much I truly love each one of them, to tell them I am sorry if I ever hurt them - expectations of perfection ran deep in my childhood - but most of all to try to give them some bits of wisdom that has taken me 6o years to learn (and now wrangle with the idea that I may succumb to this cancer at some point in my life - even if it is 20 years from now), wisdom that may help them make it through life a little easier. I will love them all forever - throughout eternity.
My mother left me a note that I discovered after she died on the back of my baby picture, "Linda, I will love you throughout eternity - Mother." I didn't really know or appreciate how much she loved me, no matter how difficult the years were with her, until I actually had my first child.
Lessons learned in Life are not always timely.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
WIG - Day ONE
So I ventured forth on my first full day back to work - wondering why I really was going back to work as sleeping in a little has been starting to feel good!
First test for the WIG - the coffee shop I go to almost everyday before I go to work in downtown Traverse City proir to my surgery - I walked in and the owner Alice said to me "wow - what did you do? Did you get a divorece? You look hot!" And the young man barrista next to her smiled. I leaned in closer and said "No - pointing to my boob - bad booby - it's a wig". They marveled over how good it looked - and the young male barrista said to me "I couldn't even tell it was a wig". So why am I telling people???
I went to work and everyone liked the WIG - loved the style - the problem is it is a style which I have tried to do for over fifty years - but my hair does not go straight!! I am thinking I may get another one, because to tell you the truth - it is really easy and saves time in the morning.
The next test for the WIG, I went into our local gourment deli in town - Burrit's - and the owner Ken B, whom we sell to, came up to me, said "Hi", and actually said "Boy I really like your hair. You must have just gotten it done - it looks great!" I smiled and said "Yes I did" and thanked him with a little blush.
Lesson Learned.
It SNOWED on the WIG today too - I was worried about that too! It survived.
Oh well - about 50% of the town knows, the other 50% who don't know me will like my new hair.
I went home and wore the WIG as I prepared dinner and thought to myself - this WIG is going to end up getting food and grease on it as I cook! But still I wasn't ready to let DJ see me without my WIG and see my really really short silver hair. Protecting the first of the brood still - - -he is still my biggest baby. (Good thing he is not interested in this blog!)
First test for the WIG - the coffee shop I go to almost everyday before I go to work in downtown Traverse City proir to my surgery - I walked in and the owner Alice said to me "wow - what did you do? Did you get a divorece? You look hot!" And the young man barrista next to her smiled. I leaned in closer and said "No - pointing to my boob - bad booby - it's a wig". They marveled over how good it looked - and the young male barrista said to me "I couldn't even tell it was a wig". So why am I telling people???
I went to work and everyone liked the WIG - loved the style - the problem is it is a style which I have tried to do for over fifty years - but my hair does not go straight!! I am thinking I may get another one, because to tell you the truth - it is really easy and saves time in the morning.
The next test for the WIG, I went into our local gourment deli in town - Burrit's - and the owner Ken B, whom we sell to, came up to me, said "Hi", and actually said "Boy I really like your hair. You must have just gotten it done - it looks great!" I smiled and said "Yes I did" and thanked him with a little blush.
Lesson Learned.
It SNOWED on the WIG today too - I was worried about that too! It survived.
Oh well - about 50% of the town knows, the other 50% who don't know me will like my new hair.
I went home and wore the WIG as I prepared dinner and thought to myself - this WIG is going to end up getting food and grease on it as I cook! But still I wasn't ready to let DJ see me without my WIG and see my really really short silver hair. Protecting the first of the brood still - - -he is still my biggest baby. (Good thing he is not interested in this blog!)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Maggie Brick
She is my special love....today she was shaved down as close as my haircut last night...she is hanging in there for me! We look alike...both Silver!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
It is done
Jana, Linda, Meganne, and Paula all went with me to my "champagne shave".....which my hair stylist Melissa decided I should just be shorn about 1/2" instead. Good idea! Wow, the real me is almost all silver white..except for two brown spots on either side of my forehead. (from the twins) It was a fun time, we drank champagne, ate chocolate dipped strawberries by Paula, chocolates and cookies from Herrod's in England. Took lots of pictures and videos...and laughed! I am not sorry for doing this today, I feel in charge for the time being. Until the Super Vitamins take over again. I will still shave it all when the hair actually falls out. My friend Mary will be in chemo every three weeks for forever....if anyone deserves a daily prayer it is her. She told me that all white things taste good. I told her how funny that just the night before I had white bread at a restaurant and it was the first thing that tasted good all week! I remember how in awe I was of everything I saw daily in Michigan when we first moved here. I need to do that more now. At least tonite when the chemo hot flashes hit....my hair won't be sweaty. I can sleep in for fifteen minutes longer before I get up to go to work too! Tomorrow we will see who guesses I have a wig on. Will post pictures tomorrow
Today's List
Finally feeling like me - got a great night sleep thanks to the Tylenol PM
HOT FLASHES ARE BACK THOUGH - man I really thought I was done with them - sweating out all of those great SUPER VITMAINS I suppose - my bed is really bionic now!
TAXES - Finally done! Taking them to the Accountant now - realized that I never balanced my personal checkbook all last year with the stress from working at Brick Packaging and trying to stay releveant with the new computer programs. Like our OLD accountant said . . Linda the accounting principles don't change - but what a pain when it takes someone to study the darn program 16 hours a day to learn it - ok, I am not being fair - some in the office get the program. I am just PISSED about it though. I would like to call Bill Gates up myself and see if he even knows how to work his own Microsoft programs. Has anyone else thought about how it has been 30+ years now and the programs keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger - more they can do and more to learn. I keep telling my kids that I hope they keep learning all of these programs and don't just rely on what they orignally learned.
DO CHILDREN REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR MOMS!
Ok - so now that I have that off of my chest -
The PLAN FOR TODAY - "CHAMPAGNE SHAVING"!
Yes - I have invited a few close girlfriends to go with me today to my hairdresser to shave my head. Really you say? Well, I decided since I am starting to look like a skunk with my one inch WHITE hair coming out, I am not going to pay for it to be dyed since I should be losing it within the week or so FOR SURE - so instead of watching it fall out in clumps and in our food - I AM GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF IT. I may post a video just so any of you that are following my blog can see. . .
I hope I can drink some of the champagne - alcohol doesn't taste so good right now!
HOT FLASHES ARE BACK THOUGH - man I really thought I was done with them - sweating out all of those great SUPER VITMAINS I suppose - my bed is really bionic now!
TAXES - Finally done! Taking them to the Accountant now - realized that I never balanced my personal checkbook all last year with the stress from working at Brick Packaging and trying to stay releveant with the new computer programs. Like our OLD accountant said . . Linda the accounting principles don't change - but what a pain when it takes someone to study the darn program 16 hours a day to learn it - ok, I am not being fair - some in the office get the program. I am just PISSED about it though. I would like to call Bill Gates up myself and see if he even knows how to work his own Microsoft programs. Has anyone else thought about how it has been 30+ years now and the programs keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger - more they can do and more to learn. I keep telling my kids that I hope they keep learning all of these programs and don't just rely on what they orignally learned.
DO CHILDREN REALLY LISTEN TO THEIR MOMS!
Ok - so now that I have that off of my chest -
The PLAN FOR TODAY - "CHAMPAGNE SHAVING"!
Yes - I have invited a few close girlfriends to go with me today to my hairdresser to shave my head. Really you say? Well, I decided since I am starting to look like a skunk with my one inch WHITE hair coming out, I am not going to pay for it to be dyed since I should be losing it within the week or so FOR SURE - so instead of watching it fall out in clumps and in our food - I AM GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF IT. I may post a video just so any of you that are following my blog can see. . .
I hope I can drink some of the champagne - alcohol doesn't taste so good right now!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Katie Walters
Katie came by to see me on Saturday - to remind me that I have to take her to the airport on Tuesday April 3rd, she kept telling me Wednesday April 3rd, and I said "No, Katie - Tuesday is April 3rd".
She finally agreed . she is Nana's sister and always has an honest word to say - she doesn't have a filter, but then Nana would say that those that are "special" speak with a clear heart.
She asked how I was feeling and I said pretty good. She went on to say "Yep you know when you get the cancer, it always comes back. There isn't a way of stopping it, it always comes back. That's the bad thing about the cancer, it always comes back."
All I could do was agree with her. Hopefully it won't come back for about 20 years - my grandmother lived until 98!!!
She finally agreed . she is Nana's sister and always has an honest word to say - she doesn't have a filter, but then Nana would say that those that are "special" speak with a clear heart.
She asked how I was feeling and I said pretty good. She went on to say "Yep you know when you get the cancer, it always comes back. There isn't a way of stopping it, it always comes back. That's the bad thing about the cancer, it always comes back."
All I could do was agree with her. Hopefully it won't come back for about 20 years - my grandmother lived until 98!!!
No blogging for 2 days!
Friday and Saturday SUCKED! I thought I would be just flying through it easily - but . . .feels like a terrible flu - every bone and muscle in my body ached. Food tastes crappy too - a metallic taste for sure.
I made it into work on Thursday - spent Friday with Tommy driving me around. Out to breakfast - errands together - and some "special stuff" that Tommy asked me not to blog about. Our secret! :)
Did manage to go the Elk's Club for our weekly meeting Friday evening - just drank a lot of soda water.
Saturday am Dan drove Tommy and I down to Ferris State to see Jack. (I slept the whole way down and back. - Good thing Dan changed his plans.) Jack drove Tommy the rest of the way to Kalamazoo to get the train to go back to Chicago.
Spring Break used to be so much fun - we would bundle our little family up and go away. Now it is all gone - it sure went by too fast! No one is in town this week that has kids - they are off on their spring breaks!
Saturday night Dan and I went out for some tomato soup - and lots of club soda. It was good, the bread tasted the best! I scarfed it down! It didn't taste like metal.
We went to bed at 8:30pm - how weird is that! Dan is leaving for two weeks for the last of the trade shows - If I feel good - I may have DJ drive me down to Louisville, KY next week - we will see. I cannot fly though.
I made it into work on Thursday - spent Friday with Tommy driving me around. Out to breakfast - errands together - and some "special stuff" that Tommy asked me not to blog about. Our secret! :)
Did manage to go the Elk's Club for our weekly meeting Friday evening - just drank a lot of soda water.
Saturday am Dan drove Tommy and I down to Ferris State to see Jack. (I slept the whole way down and back. - Good thing Dan changed his plans.) Jack drove Tommy the rest of the way to Kalamazoo to get the train to go back to Chicago.
Spring Break used to be so much fun - we would bundle our little family up and go away. Now it is all gone - it sure went by too fast! No one is in town this week that has kids - they are off on their spring breaks!
Saturday night Dan and I went out for some tomato soup - and lots of club soda. It was good, the bread tasted the best! I scarfed it down! It didn't taste like metal.
We went to bed at 8:30pm - how weird is that! Dan is leaving for two weeks for the last of the trade shows - If I feel good - I may have DJ drive me down to Louisville, KY next week - we will see. I cannot fly though.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Chillin
I figured how to blog from my phone! No Chemo Brain yet! In fact I feel good....just waiting for some sort of shoe to drop...but praying it is a small size one.
Tommy helped me get dinner ready...all prepped, just have to cook when Dan gets home.
So many cards, letters, gifts in the mail...I am so blessed, especially when I know that everyone has their own challenges too. It is so important to take extra time for others.
How will I get all my thank you notes done!
Haven't even done Christmas 2011 notes yet! Oh well, can't go backwards, just onward now.
The forsythias are blooming now...we usually don't see them until the end of May.... Everything is different this year!
"Share your breath of life with others, and let the riches overflow. " Angel Prayers by Sally Sharp
1st Day After
The hot flashes started last night! WET! But, that is the only symptom so far!
Did Pilates at 5:00am this morning with the group - Maggie, Tobi, Dr. John, and John - decided I better show up because they are all wearing the CANCER SUCKS t-shirts I bought them all back in December for Dr. John - who is an amazing inspiration because his cancer really SUCKS! But he is hanging in there and fighting hard - he didn't even lose his hair.
Went back to bed after Pilates - 6:15AM - WAITING to see if I felt anything yet.
Slept until 9:00am - then Tommy (son #3) and I went to Chez Peres for breakfast - he loved it! Cafe Au Lait and Beignets!
I had to go back to the oncologist's Dr.K for a shot! It is supposed to help me grow bone marrow and muscle cells because the SUPER VITAMINS kill these as well as any wayward cancer cells. When I walked in, one of the technicians said, "hey weren't you the lady in here yesterday with the green hair?" I said "yes", and he said "well I was wondering if I would know who you were without it?" I said, "I am hard to forget huh?" Humble.
Well, I was really humbled because they made me go back to the room where they had my chemo yesterday for the shot! Tammi, my new BFF oncologist nurse asked me my last name - I told her BrickHouse - she smiled because she remembered me from yesterday. And then she asked me if my age was then 02-12-1942 just to be smart back at me. Shot was easy - seeing all the men today in the barcoloungers was not - they all looked like they were ready to die. I put my fingers in my ears and went "LALALALALA" as one was describing his ordeal. I hope he didn't have breast cancer.
Still feeling well -so I went to the grocery store - -
I made my stop into the office - to answer emails and show them that I am still here! I do like to make sure that everyone is enjoying their job - it is hard when you are the wife in the office - I hear all the water cooler talk which Dan doesn't even know exists! But hey - I have been here since 2003. I will work more from home in the future I think.
Drinking lots of water - I guess my urine is dangerous - per the instruction booklet - all the chemo washes out in 48 hours - so I can't have any chemical splashes!!!!! So I double flush and spray with chemicals to clean the bowl and seat! Housework!
The book even talks about sexuality while you are on chemo - REALLY??
I opened my Angel book today that Di gave me so long ago - I close my eyes and open it randomly -
Today's reading was for "The Angel of Living" - Living with God in your heart - and living with other's that way.
Did Pilates at 5:00am this morning with the group - Maggie, Tobi, Dr. John, and John - decided I better show up because they are all wearing the CANCER SUCKS t-shirts I bought them all back in December for Dr. John - who is an amazing inspiration because his cancer really SUCKS! But he is hanging in there and fighting hard - he didn't even lose his hair.
Went back to bed after Pilates - 6:15AM - WAITING to see if I felt anything yet.
Slept until 9:00am - then Tommy (son #3) and I went to Chez Peres for breakfast - he loved it! Cafe Au Lait and Beignets!
I had to go back to the oncologist's Dr.K for a shot! It is supposed to help me grow bone marrow and muscle cells because the SUPER VITAMINS kill these as well as any wayward cancer cells. When I walked in, one of the technicians said, "hey weren't you the lady in here yesterday with the green hair?" I said "yes", and he said "well I was wondering if I would know who you were without it?" I said, "I am hard to forget huh?" Humble.
Well, I was really humbled because they made me go back to the room where they had my chemo yesterday for the shot! Tammi, my new BFF oncologist nurse asked me my last name - I told her BrickHouse - she smiled because she remembered me from yesterday. And then she asked me if my age was then 02-12-1942 just to be smart back at me. Shot was easy - seeing all the men today in the barcoloungers was not - they all looked like they were ready to die. I put my fingers in my ears and went "LALALALALA" as one was describing his ordeal. I hope he didn't have breast cancer.
Still feeling well -so I went to the grocery store - -
I made my stop into the office - to answer emails and show them that I am still here! I do like to make sure that everyone is enjoying their job - it is hard when you are the wife in the office - I hear all the water cooler talk which Dan doesn't even know exists! But hey - I have been here since 2003. I will work more from home in the future I think.
Drinking lots of water - I guess my urine is dangerous - per the instruction booklet - all the chemo washes out in 48 hours - so I can't have any chemical splashes!!!!! So I double flush and spray with chemicals to clean the bowl and seat! Housework!
The book even talks about sexuality while you are on chemo - REALLY??
I opened my Angel book today that Di gave me so long ago - I close my eyes and open it randomly -
Today's reading was for "The Angel of Living" - Living with God in your heart - and living with other's that way.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Goodnight First Chemo Day
Took two Xanex at the doctors office today before I started the Super Vitamins! I wore my green wig - and my angel wings - and my pink breast cancer t-shirt that Chris from "Chris's Things Co" gave me at a trade show - it says "Fight Like a Girl, Drink Like a Lady", with a big wine glass in the middle - a heart is in the wine of the glass, and the breast cancer symbol is on the stem - two fold for us women!! And did I forget to say that it has a lot of BLING on it! Quite a site I was! Dan met with me to meet the Dr. - lots of instructions - and then off I went. No point in having Dan stay there with me for two hours - he would have gone nuts.
My BFF Paula showed up with a present - I love it! - a purple watch with bling.
I even drove myself home after Dr. K said he didn't think it would be a good idea the first time -
But, I did well during the treatment - took myself to lunch, then picked up my real wig - then even went to work for about 2 hours. . like I said I would!
Came home - answered emails and texts - relaxed with my boys - DJ and Tommy - and then went out to dinner at Peninsula grill -
I still feel great today! We will see what tomorrow brings - I am prepared - and I will open my angel book by my bed in the morning and find what awaits me for tomorrow -
Good night - I feel calm - oh yes, I took two more Xanex before bed! Brushed my teeth and rinsed with warm salt water - and had a glass of Citricel just to be prepared.
I just need to be able to get it down so I can post from my smart phone (which is being really dumbe) and my Ipad - which maybe with the update will work - more technology and I don't like being behind!
Goodnight Moon!
My BFF Paula showed up with a present - I love it! - a purple watch with bling.
I even drove myself home after Dr. K said he didn't think it would be a good idea the first time -
But, I did well during the treatment - took myself to lunch, then picked up my real wig - then even went to work for about 2 hours. . like I said I would!
Came home - answered emails and texts - relaxed with my boys - DJ and Tommy - and then went out to dinner at Peninsula grill -
I still feel great today! We will see what tomorrow brings - I am prepared - and I will open my angel book by my bed in the morning and find what awaits me for tomorrow -
Good night - I feel calm - oh yes, I took two more Xanex before bed! Brushed my teeth and rinsed with warm salt water - and had a glass of Citricel just to be prepared.
I just need to be able to get it down so I can post from my smart phone (which is being really dumbe) and my Ipad - which maybe with the update will work - more technology and I don't like being behind!
Goodnight Moon!
chemo now
Minutes before the poking of the arm! Total time about 2 hours!
Seriously, I bought a new Nordstrom bra about two weeks ago and I am wearing it!
It is all me there minus the lump - but it sure looks like I had a boob job -
maybe just put on at few pounds. I was hoping to lose weight over all of this, but they are telling me NOT to lose weight! I am still going to try the weight watcher way!
Wigging Out!
When I told my mother stop wigging out so many years ago, who knew I would be making a post on her blog about Wigs!
My mom has decided to have other help choose the best for her, as they all look good! Post your comments below on your favorites:)
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My mom has decided to have other help choose the best for her, as they all look good! Post your comments below on your favorites:)
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This Wig would come in her Natural Brown coloring., or we could leave it Blonde!
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Thanks you all for looking and telling us your favorites:) I know your thoughts, comments and prayers mean the world to my mother, and for the rest of my family.
You can vote - but I actually picked out another one altogether - have you seen the Girl With The Dragon tatoo? The Swedish version??
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Twas the Night before Chemo
Anyhow - started the steroids today - went to my 5:00am pilates class and did my best. Spending time with my friends in this class for five years - Dr. John has cancer too, he is fighting so amazingly hard, he is an inspiration for me.
I had a massage with KB again this am - I love it! And her words of inspiration are healing.
Dropped by the office for about three hours - just to let them know I still count!
Tommy is home this week on his spring break - most boring one he has ever had. But he did manage to go flying today!
Tommy picked me up from work and took me home - I slept from 3:15 to 5:45 pm . . .guess I was tired!!!!!!!
Taize mass with Meganne McC and Paula and Dr. Dr. at SF tonight- I love the singing part . .and the quiet.
We all went to dinner at Phil's on Front Street - yuky tonight, but good to be with friends!
I decided to have pecan cheesecake - that was good!
I will ask the Angels to be around me tonight - and tomorrow. I have my Angel wings to wear during the treatment - thanks to my friend Diane . .who walked this path 30 years ago!
I will ask my Angels to be there tomorrow too.
I will wear my green wig during chemo so no one knows what I really look like - and then my new wig the next time! I did get my hair cut off short yesterday . . . just to get ready.
SUPER VITAMINS HERE I COME!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Week Before Chemo
This will be the third time I have written this page - I hope I can remember from Sunday March 11. Just trying to catch up to stay current.
Saw Dr. Tom on Tuesday am - I have to keep that thorn in my side, still in my side. But I can go to Iowa with Dan.
Tuesday evening was spent at the Elm's Club with the most gentle man I have ever known - George - we toasted to his wife Lillian whom he had been married to for 60 years. His love for her still, humbled me. We will all work to help keep him busy as he spends time without her physically near. He is 97 I think.
Dan and I leave Thursday for the Iowa trade show - and return via Chicago on Saturday to catch up with Tommy. Late dinner and wine . .and then off to O'Malley's for some green beer. I wore my green wig - - Dan and I were the oldest Irish in the place. . . saw some extremely dirty dancing while we were there, made ME blush!
Sunday we came home and Uncle Tim had made boiled dinner for us. . .what a treat! We ate outside as it was in the 70s . .weird weather.
Tommy was going out to meet with his good friend - and before he went out he shaved his head.
He looks very handsome.
Tomorrow I will see Dr. Tom again - and the week that I have probably been worried about the most is finally here. Seriously, I don't like to be sick!
Saw Dr. Tom on Tuesday am - I have to keep that thorn in my side, still in my side. But I can go to Iowa with Dan.
Tuesday evening was spent at the Elm's Club with the most gentle man I have ever known - George - we toasted to his wife Lillian whom he had been married to for 60 years. His love for her still, humbled me. We will all work to help keep him busy as he spends time without her physically near. He is 97 I think.
Dan and I leave Thursday for the Iowa trade show - and return via Chicago on Saturday to catch up with Tommy. Late dinner and wine . .and then off to O'Malley's for some green beer. I wore my green wig - - Dan and I were the oldest Irish in the place. . . saw some extremely dirty dancing while we were there, made ME blush!
Sunday we came home and Uncle Tim had made boiled dinner for us. . .what a treat! We ate outside as it was in the 70s . .weird weather.
Tommy was going out to meet with his good friend - and before he went out he shaved his head.
He looks very handsome.
Tomorrow I will see Dr. Tom again - and the week that I have probably been worried about the most is finally here. Seriously, I don't like to be sick!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Still catching up - March 6th -11th
Wednesday Sophie kitty is staying in our home - Maggie walks up to investigate - Sophie kitty hisses. Maggie is too old to go after her, so she just wonders. "what the %&&%*^ is this kitty doing in my house?"
Karen and I go out to breakfast at Happy Hog Cafe - one woman, the owner is the only waitress and she is working so hard to keep up with all the tables. I told her she needed some help, and she told me she brought a couple of extra girls in to help her. They stay behind the breakfast bar the entire time we were there doing nothing - I was ready to get up and help her - the guys working there didn't help her at all much either - oh ok - they brought us some coffee.
Boy this is really a stretch now because I don't remember what has gone on the rest of this day - now 8 days ago!
We go to the 5:15 Mass at St. Joe's, Karen and Jack and I. These are the masses during Lent that the Bishop has asked the parishes to hold in order to pray that the rights of all the churches in the USA are not trampled on my the Obama government. We pray.
I believe we went to dinner at the Peninsula Grill this night - Jack comes with us too - SURPRISE!
Karen and I share a meal and Jack has a pizza. Back home to a fire that Jack builds for me as we watch the dog try to make friends with the kitty. No Way.
Tomorrow is the big day at the surgeon's office to find out the test results from the surgery.
I take two Xanex to go to bed, listening to my Ipad music of Adele's 21 album (awesome), Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" and "Slipping through my Fingers" from Mamma Mia. I sleep OK.
Thursday
Big day for me - the visit to see Dr. Tom a week after the surgery where the bad part of my booby was taken out. Have I told you how happy I am with the results of my surgery? About a three inch scar on the right side - but really hidden out of site. Remember I forced Meganne McC to see it!
Dr. Tom comes in and he is sick! He tells my sister and I that he can hardly talk and doesn't feel well.
He then tells me that the pathology report came back differently. My heart sinks! He then proceeds to tell us that there was no cancer in one of the sentinel nodes and that they are calling it a benign lesion. It is a nevus - I remember from histology class that a nevus is related to melanin and moles. I show him that I have some moles on my breast - but nothing weird trying to make him smile. His face doesn't flinch. So I ask him - am I supposed to be wearing a happy face with these test results? He says yes and then leaves the room. He is a man of few words - did I already say that. At least I know he likes me so I take no offense.
My sister and I go out to our favorite restaurant - Chez Peres to celebrate. In fact we have Mimosas with our breakfasts on a Thursday - how decadent! But then we think that we are really celebrating based on the news from the pathology report - although I still have to have chemo and radiation.
On the way out of the restaurant I see Leslie and Barb - both wives of radio oncologists.
Dr Dave is married to Leslie (she was my past internist) and he will do my radiation. I was originally scheduled for Barb's husband Dr. Mike, but he was on vacation at the time of my appointment so I am seeing Dr. Dave instead - I know Dave better so it worked out good for me! Both are great doctors - we are blessed in this community. Of course I was talking to the girls really fast because I forgot I had taken a Xanex before my doctors appointment - that PLUS a Mimosa PLUS Linda is like "WOW". Most embarrassing though is that I introduce Barb to my sister as Judy. Judy is actually the wife of Dr. Mike's brother Dr. Dan - who was the vet to our Sadie and Maggie OES dogs, so natural mistake. Anyhow - years ago on a field trip with Tom and Jack's kindergarten class, I rode in the beautiful countryside of Leelanau Co with Barb - and we discussed Jesus from her religion's perspective and Faith - at that time back in the spring of 1996 I was just going through RCIA to become Catholic,so it was a moving discussion. DJ and Megan were in the Grand Traverse Area Catholic School system at that time, but the kindergarten class was full, so Tommy and Jack were in the public school system at Eastern Elementary - quite an accomplished school as well - Barb and I lost touch after that year as the boys moved to Holy Angels the next year that we lived in Traverse City - I am still embarrassed that I forgot her name!
The rest of the day we run errands and go home to catch up with my TAXES. Never got started!
Dinner out to Stella's with Karen, Jack, Meganne McC, Uncle Tim and KB the masseuse. Food was great and we all had a lot of fun! I now remember Maureen's name the waitress whom I met at Amanda's house - the owner of Stella's - man I hate this bad memory thing. We are treated to deserts by Al - Carrie's husband (Carrie used to work for us at Brick Packaging) - drank some great wine and shared the food with all!
Jack drives us home!
Friday
The day after seeing Dr. Tom - I am still wondering if it is a happy face I am supposed to wear - I think so? Karen and I go for lunch at Poppycock's - I buy extra tomato swiss soup for Dan and DJ as they are on their way home and Dan is not feeling well. We will stay home tonight which actually feels good. Jack has left and taken Sophie kitty with him as he has to pick up Jessica at the airport later. He did some chores for me and was a big help while he was home -
DJ and Dan return home - we have soup and go to bed early.
Saturday
My sister leaves today - we shower, get cleaned up and she packs -we load up the car. She doesn't have to leave until 3:45pm. We go to the Green House cafe for breakfast - only we eat lunch! We run into several shops downtown to complete some errands. Karen had spotted a t-shirt bra in the french bra boutique we have downtown - I buy one - violet and it is lacy - it makes me feel better - although no under wire - not quite as perky as I used to be! DJ meets us downtown at the bra shop - he has memories of being in the same shop when it was an Italian women's clothing line at men's downtown night during the Christmas season. Not telling that story on this blog - it belongs to him. Well I told DJ that I would take him to lunch - even though we had already eaten - you always make time for your kids no matter how old they are at the time. He wants to go to Bubba's as he has discovered their Buffalo Wing Tater Tots are awesome! He adds bacon and green onions to them and tells them they should patent it - whoa, DJ gave them the idea - maybe he will be a patent attorney.
DJ says his goodbye's to Auntie Karen. Karen and I make one more errand to Staples before I drop her off at the airport. I wish she could have stayed a week longer - I really would have put her to work helping get rid of all my extra stuff that I have saved all these years. Stuff that I know my kids could care less about.
You can't take it with you - - - how true is that and how come you have to go through a lot of stuff to realise you can't take it with you - - and HE does not want it anyway.
I am trying to remember what we did for dinner that night - I know I didn't cook. Dan wants to cook a lamb shoulder for Sunday night dinner that he has pulled out of the freezer - the only food that my sister and I have let survive the four days of no refrigeration from the storm of March 2012! I find a Jamie Oliver recipe off the food channel. He will make this tomorrow - we usually do Sunday meals as often as we can - that is what Nana told Dan to do to make sure he kept them up! (Four hours before she died - she gave each of us our marching orders! - If I could be half way like her!)
Sunday
Eleven o'clock church at St. Joe's - I don't see my friend Mary there so I am worried. I actually have to read that morning - wow - I am blessed to be able to do that!
I text Mary to see if she is ok - she is on her way to Cadillac to celebrate a family birthday. I breath a sigh of relief. I am now her sister with this disease - BC!
Dan makes his recipe - I work up in our office - still the TAXES are not done!
The lamb recipe is wonderful - Uncle Tim comes over for dinner - we drink some fine wines - Life is Good!
Karen and I go out to breakfast at Happy Hog Cafe - one woman, the owner is the only waitress and she is working so hard to keep up with all the tables. I told her she needed some help, and she told me she brought a couple of extra girls in to help her. They stay behind the breakfast bar the entire time we were there doing nothing - I was ready to get up and help her - the guys working there didn't help her at all much either - oh ok - they brought us some coffee.
Boy this is really a stretch now because I don't remember what has gone on the rest of this day - now 8 days ago!
We go to the 5:15 Mass at St. Joe's, Karen and Jack and I. These are the masses during Lent that the Bishop has asked the parishes to hold in order to pray that the rights of all the churches in the USA are not trampled on my the Obama government. We pray.
I believe we went to dinner at the Peninsula Grill this night - Jack comes with us too - SURPRISE!
Karen and I share a meal and Jack has a pizza. Back home to a fire that Jack builds for me as we watch the dog try to make friends with the kitty. No Way.
Tomorrow is the big day at the surgeon's office to find out the test results from the surgery.
I take two Xanex to go to bed, listening to my Ipad music of Adele's 21 album (awesome), Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" and "Slipping through my Fingers" from Mamma Mia. I sleep OK.
Thursday
Big day for me - the visit to see Dr. Tom a week after the surgery where the bad part of my booby was taken out. Have I told you how happy I am with the results of my surgery? About a three inch scar on the right side - but really hidden out of site. Remember I forced Meganne McC to see it!
Dr. Tom comes in and he is sick! He tells my sister and I that he can hardly talk and doesn't feel well.
He then tells me that the pathology report came back differently. My heart sinks! He then proceeds to tell us that there was no cancer in one of the sentinel nodes and that they are calling it a benign lesion. It is a nevus - I remember from histology class that a nevus is related to melanin and moles. I show him that I have some moles on my breast - but nothing weird trying to make him smile. His face doesn't flinch. So I ask him - am I supposed to be wearing a happy face with these test results? He says yes and then leaves the room. He is a man of few words - did I already say that. At least I know he likes me so I take no offense.
My sister and I go out to our favorite restaurant - Chez Peres to celebrate. In fact we have Mimosas with our breakfasts on a Thursday - how decadent! But then we think that we are really celebrating based on the news from the pathology report - although I still have to have chemo and radiation.
On the way out of the restaurant I see Leslie and Barb - both wives of radio oncologists.
Dr Dave is married to Leslie (she was my past internist) and he will do my radiation. I was originally scheduled for Barb's husband Dr. Mike, but he was on vacation at the time of my appointment so I am seeing Dr. Dave instead - I know Dave better so it worked out good for me! Both are great doctors - we are blessed in this community. Of course I was talking to the girls really fast because I forgot I had taken a Xanex before my doctors appointment - that PLUS a Mimosa PLUS Linda is like "WOW". Most embarrassing though is that I introduce Barb to my sister as Judy. Judy is actually the wife of Dr. Mike's brother Dr. Dan - who was the vet to our Sadie and Maggie OES dogs, so natural mistake. Anyhow - years ago on a field trip with Tom and Jack's kindergarten class, I rode in the beautiful countryside of Leelanau Co with Barb - and we discussed Jesus from her religion's perspective and Faith - at that time back in the spring of 1996 I was just going through RCIA to become Catholic,so it was a moving discussion. DJ and Megan were in the Grand Traverse Area Catholic School system at that time, but the kindergarten class was full, so Tommy and Jack were in the public school system at Eastern Elementary - quite an accomplished school as well - Barb and I lost touch after that year as the boys moved to Holy Angels the next year that we lived in Traverse City - I am still embarrassed that I forgot her name!
The rest of the day we run errands and go home to catch up with my TAXES. Never got started!
Dinner out to Stella's with Karen, Jack, Meganne McC, Uncle Tim and KB the masseuse. Food was great and we all had a lot of fun! I now remember Maureen's name the waitress whom I met at Amanda's house - the owner of Stella's - man I hate this bad memory thing. We are treated to deserts by Al - Carrie's husband (Carrie used to work for us at Brick Packaging) - drank some great wine and shared the food with all!
Jack drives us home!
Friday
The day after seeing Dr. Tom - I am still wondering if it is a happy face I am supposed to wear - I think so? Karen and I go for lunch at Poppycock's - I buy extra tomato swiss soup for Dan and DJ as they are on their way home and Dan is not feeling well. We will stay home tonight which actually feels good. Jack has left and taken Sophie kitty with him as he has to pick up Jessica at the airport later. He did some chores for me and was a big help while he was home -
DJ and Dan return home - we have soup and go to bed early.
Saturday
My sister leaves today - we shower, get cleaned up and she packs -we load up the car. She doesn't have to leave until 3:45pm. We go to the Green House cafe for breakfast - only we eat lunch! We run into several shops downtown to complete some errands. Karen had spotted a t-shirt bra in the french bra boutique we have downtown - I buy one - violet and it is lacy - it makes me feel better - although no under wire - not quite as perky as I used to be! DJ meets us downtown at the bra shop - he has memories of being in the same shop when it was an Italian women's clothing line at men's downtown night during the Christmas season. Not telling that story on this blog - it belongs to him. Well I told DJ that I would take him to lunch - even though we had already eaten - you always make time for your kids no matter how old they are at the time. He wants to go to Bubba's as he has discovered their Buffalo Wing Tater Tots are awesome! He adds bacon and green onions to them and tells them they should patent it - whoa, DJ gave them the idea - maybe he will be a patent attorney.
DJ says his goodbye's to Auntie Karen. Karen and I make one more errand to Staples before I drop her off at the airport. I wish she could have stayed a week longer - I really would have put her to work helping get rid of all my extra stuff that I have saved all these years. Stuff that I know my kids could care less about.
You can't take it with you - - - how true is that and how come you have to go through a lot of stuff to realise you can't take it with you - - and HE does not want it anyway.
I am trying to remember what we did for dinner that night - I know I didn't cook. Dan wants to cook a lamb shoulder for Sunday night dinner that he has pulled out of the freezer - the only food that my sister and I have let survive the four days of no refrigeration from the storm of March 2012! I find a Jamie Oliver recipe off the food channel. He will make this tomorrow - we usually do Sunday meals as often as we can - that is what Nana told Dan to do to make sure he kept them up! (Four hours before she died - she gave each of us our marching orders! - If I could be half way like her!)
Sunday
Eleven o'clock church at St. Joe's - I don't see my friend Mary there so I am worried. I actually have to read that morning - wow - I am blessed to be able to do that!
I text Mary to see if she is ok - she is on her way to Cadillac to celebrate a family birthday. I breath a sigh of relief. I am now her sister with this disease - BC!
Dan makes his recipe - I work up in our office - still the TAXES are not done!
The lamb recipe is wonderful - Uncle Tim comes over for dinner - we drink some fine wines - Life is Good!
Friday, March 16, 2012
March 5 - 10th - Week in Review
Monday Dan and DJ leave for a trade show in Eastern Pennsylvania -Karen and I drop into the office after we have taken Maggie home to Peninsula Drive home - worried about leaving her alone at our vacation warm home because she gets so anxious. Xanex - that is what she needs, but I won't share mine.
So dropping by the office meant - having to do a few things for Dan before he takes off - they are supposed to leave at Noon to start the 14 hour drive - they get out at 5:30 pm.
Karen and I drop by the wig place so I can show her some of my choices - store closed.
Karen is driving me around and it is driving me crazy - control is an issue for me.
We had so many plans for the week to get so much done at home . .at least I did. TAXES . I am needing to get them done - but put it off for another day.
I can't remember where we go out to dinner - but I know we did. We were committed to not cooking while we had no power. . even though we were spending the night in a home that had power. I wish I could remember because we did eat out every single night.
But as of this writing - I now remember we spent dinner on Saturday March 3rd at the Scott's Harbor Grill with the Meganne and Keith, Cameron and his girlfriend Bethany - and Uncle Tim! We actually graduated from the Elk's club - which the same group spent the night of my surgery on Friday night.
(That is right because Dan and Karen came back to visit me Friday night after my surgery after their meeting at the Elk's club and brought me beautiful mauve roses from Uncle Tim. Typically at the Elk's club if you order a drink - like a scotch let's say - it comes to the table looking root beer color because it is a very strong drink. Needless to say - I was tired and much more sober than my husband and sister - sorry - this is just a memory I needed to put in my mind)
It occurs to me know that blogging is a great memory recorder - and since that is my worst quality - maybe I should blog forever.
Tuesday - Karen and I sleep again at East Bay Blvd, and in the morning are hoping that power will be back on at my house. Day 4 of our back and forth from house to house.
We run errands during the day - and then get the message at 3:00pm that our power is back on - we charge over to see how the food looks in the refrigerator and freezers. Most has started thawing - we throw everything out excepts Dan's lamb. Thank goodness - but quite honestly some of the food in all of the three refrigerators was so old it needed to be cleaned out. . .a cleansing!
Just like the cleansing I know that I am faced with - one on a physical level, the other on a spiritual level.
My sister and I meet Megan at the Taize Mass at St. Francis Catholic Church - it is a half hour mass of meditation, darkness, candles and listening to Fred the pianist sing and play beautiful songs. I prayed for my children - I always do.
We go to dinner with Meganne - damn where did we go? Ah ha - I remember it now - we went to Mode's - fun old fashioned bar in town - - we called Jack who was coming home with his girlfriend Jessica's kitty - (Banned from the house by Dan - but hey he was out of town.) as he was babysitting Sophie. So we had "The Wedge" awesome - and I made sure to pick off everyone else's plate - Jack showed up just in time to eat with us. The sharing drives Meganne nuts. . .hahahahah sorry - we share the Bailey's.
Home at night in my own home - it is warm - and my Jackson Pratt is a Thorn in my side!
So dropping by the office meant - having to do a few things for Dan before he takes off - they are supposed to leave at Noon to start the 14 hour drive - they get out at 5:30 pm.
Karen and I drop by the wig place so I can show her some of my choices - store closed.
Karen is driving me around and it is driving me crazy - control is an issue for me.
We had so many plans for the week to get so much done at home . .at least I did. TAXES . I am needing to get them done - but put it off for another day.
I can't remember where we go out to dinner - but I know we did. We were committed to not cooking while we had no power. . even though we were spending the night in a home that had power. I wish I could remember because we did eat out every single night.
But as of this writing - I now remember we spent dinner on Saturday March 3rd at the Scott's Harbor Grill with the Meganne and Keith, Cameron and his girlfriend Bethany - and Uncle Tim! We actually graduated from the Elk's club - which the same group spent the night of my surgery on Friday night.
(That is right because Dan and Karen came back to visit me Friday night after my surgery after their meeting at the Elk's club and brought me beautiful mauve roses from Uncle Tim. Typically at the Elk's club if you order a drink - like a scotch let's say - it comes to the table looking root beer color because it is a very strong drink. Needless to say - I was tired and much more sober than my husband and sister - sorry - this is just a memory I needed to put in my mind)
It occurs to me know that blogging is a great memory recorder - and since that is my worst quality - maybe I should blog forever.
Tuesday - Karen and I sleep again at East Bay Blvd, and in the morning are hoping that power will be back on at my house. Day 4 of our back and forth from house to house.
We run errands during the day - and then get the message at 3:00pm that our power is back on - we charge over to see how the food looks in the refrigerator and freezers. Most has started thawing - we throw everything out excepts Dan's lamb. Thank goodness - but quite honestly some of the food in all of the three refrigerators was so old it needed to be cleaned out. . .a cleansing!
Just like the cleansing I know that I am faced with - one on a physical level, the other on a spiritual level.
My sister and I meet Megan at the Taize Mass at St. Francis Catholic Church - it is a half hour mass of meditation, darkness, candles and listening to Fred the pianist sing and play beautiful songs. I prayed for my children - I always do.
We go to dinner with Meganne - damn where did we go? Ah ha - I remember it now - we went to Mode's - fun old fashioned bar in town - - we called Jack who was coming home with his girlfriend Jessica's kitty - (Banned from the house by Dan - but hey he was out of town.) as he was babysitting Sophie. So we had "The Wedge" awesome - and I made sure to pick off everyone else's plate - Jack showed up just in time to eat with us. The sharing drives Meganne nuts. . .hahahahah sorry - we share the Bailey's.
Home at night in my own home - it is warm - and my Jackson Pratt is a Thorn in my side!
March 4th
No power in the am - - still. We don't make it to Church as I am moving a bit slow . .and we are cold in the house. Good thing I didn't live during the time of "The Little House on the Prairie" - I wouldn't have made it. Spoiled! Fortunately my text to BB in Chicago finally makes sense to her - because they were not without power in Chicago - they hadn't heard about our storm. Anyhow - Karen, Maggie and I move into Terry and BB's house on East Shore Blvd. . once Nana's house. They have redone the house inside with new paint colors, carpeting, and darling pillows, lamps, bedspreads - fun colors. . .truly a redo that Nana would have loved - and her presence is still there. It was comforting.
DJ came home from his trade show in New York - and we went out to dinner again. We went to Uncle Tim's for sandwiches and garden vegetable soup from his garden. (Totally snowed in - he made the soup and froze it over the summer - delicious.) Bob and Nancy came - Edie and Wally Dawg, my sister, Dan and then DJ showed up as well to be with all of us older generation.
All the trees are heavily laden with fresh white snow . . . a beauty that we had missed this whole winter which had been very short. My sister had never seen something like this and she was amazed.
I slept on the couch, Karen slept upstairs in the king size bedroom, and Maggie laid by my side on the floor. It was great to have heat.
Dan and DJ braved the cold and stayed at our home to prevent against freezing of the pipes. DJ was REALLY cold! Big baby!
I try not to think too much about the week ahead of me - waiting to hear the final pathology report is still four days away.
I think of Erma Bombeck and wonder what kind of breast cancer she had . . .
DJ came home from his trade show in New York - and we went out to dinner again. We went to Uncle Tim's for sandwiches and garden vegetable soup from his garden. (Totally snowed in - he made the soup and froze it over the summer - delicious.) Bob and Nancy came - Edie and Wally Dawg, my sister, Dan and then DJ showed up as well to be with all of us older generation.
All the trees are heavily laden with fresh white snow . . . a beauty that we had missed this whole winter which had been very short. My sister had never seen something like this and she was amazed.
I slept on the couch, Karen slept upstairs in the king size bedroom, and Maggie laid by my side on the floor. It was great to have heat.
Dan and DJ braved the cold and stayed at our home to prevent against freezing of the pipes. DJ was REALLY cold! Big baby!
I try not to think too much about the week ahead of me - waiting to hear the final pathology report is still four days away.
I think of Erma Bombeck and wonder what kind of breast cancer she had . . .
The Last 13 Days - continued!!!
Standing up at trade show computers while Dan is working . .so I might as well blog!!! Getting into it I guess, need some photos and background colors - probably will have to do the PINK thing since that is what this is all about - but just not sure - I only wear some PINK - whereas some of my friends . .one is particular who shall remain anonymous (Paula) always wears and looks good in PINK.
So where was I? Ah yes, leaving the hospital on Saturday March 3rd . . Dan and Karen pick me up from the hospital and we drive around to find a place to go eat breakfast. Of course I have already had a great breakfast at the hospital - more tapioca pudding. . .love it. So anyhow we take Karen to Chez Peres, because there is no power at our home. They actually had a tough time making into town because of all the downed trees. I just have soup - my sister has banana nutella french toast, Dan has an incredible omelet and we all have wonderful coffee. It really is one of my favorite French cafe like restaurants in TC. We finally go home and I get to see my Maggie (12 year old - OLD ENGLISH SHEEPDOG) who is ecstatic that I am back home. It really is true that a dog loves you unconditionally.
Dan keeps the fire going - I take my new pain pills Tramadol - but I am really not in too much pain. The Jackson-Pratt Surgical Drain is a thorn in my side - literally. It has to be emptied twice a day . . of course I didn't read that instruction first and was draining it every four hours. No harm done - just a lot of liquid!! I am lucky however, it could have been something coming out of my intestines so I thank my lucky stars. I sleep in front of the couch for a few hours.
Texting is my favorite past time - it keeps me in touch with my kids who some of them (JSB) don't answer me as often as I like - but it is better than calling and then going into their voicemail. I do the same thing if I don't have time to talk to someone who is calling me. That is a confession I shouldn't make - but hey this cancer thing makes you pay attention to telling the truth the whole truth, so help me God. (some filtering of course)
I see a text from Paula that her mom is having a panic attack - probably worried that she is leaving for Florida for a week's vacation with her husband Vince, I call him Dr. Dr. (yes two times - !!)
I text her back that she should give her mom some Xanex, because it is now my new BFF. I texted her back I think after I wake up from my nap - pretty secure that this comment would make her laugh.
The phone rings while I am in the garage talking to Paula - I try to sound up because I know she is checking up on me! It just took me a second to hear her voice and KNOW . . .Lillian had sent me a card along with her husband George just a week before - saying they were praying for me. Now I was praying for her peace as she had made her way to be with HIM. 95 years old . . . she was a "spitfire sweetheart" , a woman I will never forget for her humor and tremendous love she had for her husband of 60 years, her daughters, their husbands, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I think she and I would have been great friends had I grown up with her. . .
I am sure we went out to dinner - pretty sure it was the Elk's club - but my memory of the rest of that day has now faded.
We go to sleep at our home with no power, candles lit and fireplace glowing. I sleep sitting slightly up on the couch as Dan keeps coming out through the night to keep the fire going. (Different context that what it would mean 25 years ago!) My sister is upstairs with a hat on and four blankets to stay warm. Some people have checked into hotels, but my husband is always an OPTIMIST thinking that the power would be back on soon. (Four days is what it ended up being - more on that later)
We plan to go to Church in the morning since we didn't make it for the 5 o'clock mass due to afternoon naps.
Karen and I have decided we are moving OUT on Sunday if there is no power. . .now we just have to convince Dan.
So where was I? Ah yes, leaving the hospital on Saturday March 3rd . . Dan and Karen pick me up from the hospital and we drive around to find a place to go eat breakfast. Of course I have already had a great breakfast at the hospital - more tapioca pudding. . .love it. So anyhow we take Karen to Chez Peres, because there is no power at our home. They actually had a tough time making into town because of all the downed trees. I just have soup - my sister has banana nutella french toast, Dan has an incredible omelet and we all have wonderful coffee. It really is one of my favorite French cafe like restaurants in TC. We finally go home and I get to see my Maggie (12 year old - OLD ENGLISH SHEEPDOG) who is ecstatic that I am back home. It really is true that a dog loves you unconditionally.
Dan keeps the fire going - I take my new pain pills Tramadol - but I am really not in too much pain. The Jackson-Pratt Surgical Drain is a thorn in my side - literally. It has to be emptied twice a day . . of course I didn't read that instruction first and was draining it every four hours. No harm done - just a lot of liquid!! I am lucky however, it could have been something coming out of my intestines so I thank my lucky stars. I sleep in front of the couch for a few hours.
Texting is my favorite past time - it keeps me in touch with my kids who some of them (JSB) don't answer me as often as I like - but it is better than calling and then going into their voicemail. I do the same thing if I don't have time to talk to someone who is calling me. That is a confession I shouldn't make - but hey this cancer thing makes you pay attention to telling the truth the whole truth, so help me God. (some filtering of course)
I see a text from Paula that her mom is having a panic attack - probably worried that she is leaving for Florida for a week's vacation with her husband Vince, I call him Dr. Dr. (yes two times - !!)
I text her back that she should give her mom some Xanex, because it is now my new BFF. I texted her back I think after I wake up from my nap - pretty secure that this comment would make her laugh.
The phone rings while I am in the garage talking to Paula - I try to sound up because I know she is checking up on me! It just took me a second to hear her voice and KNOW . . .Lillian had sent me a card along with her husband George just a week before - saying they were praying for me. Now I was praying for her peace as she had made her way to be with HIM. 95 years old . . . she was a "spitfire sweetheart" , a woman I will never forget for her humor and tremendous love she had for her husband of 60 years, her daughters, their husbands, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I think she and I would have been great friends had I grown up with her. . .
I am sure we went out to dinner - pretty sure it was the Elk's club - but my memory of the rest of that day has now faded.
We go to sleep at our home with no power, candles lit and fireplace glowing. I sleep sitting slightly up on the couch as Dan keeps coming out through the night to keep the fire going. (Different context that what it would mean 25 years ago!) My sister is upstairs with a hat on and four blankets to stay warm. Some people have checked into hotels, but my husband is always an OPTIMIST thinking that the power would be back on soon. (Four days is what it ended up being - more on that later)
We plan to go to Church in the morning since we didn't make it for the 5 o'clock mass due to afternoon naps.
Karen and I have decided we are moving OUT on Sunday if there is no power. . .now we just have to convince Dan.
The Last 13 Days!!!!
OK - so I am an awful blogger - I am 60 years old and trying to keep up with all the new technology.
60 - that is what the Cancer 101 book said that the average age was for women to get breast cancer,
Happy Birthday present to me!!! I am not angry - and I feel better now that the lump is out.
So, I want to try to recap the last 13 days of dealing with breast cancer, family and work!
Surgery was March 2nd - I took two Xanex the morning of surgery - because the hospital nurse said I could take all medications I needed before surgery. So I DID! The Xanex took away all of the anxiety and vise-like grip that I had been feeling in my chest for THREE WEEKS! And boy was I happy the morning of my surgery! Dan drove me to Munson Hospital so that arrived on time at 7:30 am - one organization that really is ORGANIZED! I am so happy to be living in an area where the hospital is so phenomenal! We walked in and were immediately routed through to every station we needed to be at and thoroughly explained to about everything we would experience that day.
SIDEBAR - Beki Reed told me three weeks before to get on Xanex - to take the edge off things - I even had spent the night in the hospital Feb 11th because I walked myself in thinking I was having a heart attack. Came through clean on that episode -passing all tests. I kept asking why I had pain in my chest - but it took my primary care doctor visit three days before surgery before I was diagnosed with anxiety and given this fine drug.
So, when Dr.Tom (first name basis) walked in to talked to me before surgery, I took his picture with my camera phone -and he is smiling. He is a gentle man of very small words - but I make him laugh! Then, I asked him to pray with me - reading a "prayer for operation" that asked the Lord to bless the person working on me - ending in commending my body and soul to Him, Dr. Tom held my hand as we prayed and Dan and my sister Karen were there to experience the moment. The anesthesiologist on the other hand did not smile. He did not think I was funny when I told him my birth date was ten years younger than I actually am! Boy those 50"s sure went by fast!
The last thing I remember was asking the anesthesiologist - don't remember his name- how long it would be until I would go out -and he said seconds - as I started praying the rosary.
I woke up to find out that I had a drain in my side - which was not what we were hoping for - one of the five sentinel nodes had cancer - and so they had to take about 15 more lymph nodes out to see if it had metastasized . I would have to wait a week for the answer to that.
So Friday March 2nd I had to spend the night at the hospital - again the nurses and level of care for me was so appreciated. They do ask you every time they come in to do any services for your birth date - I kept lying! Which endeared me to some . . .
I vaguely remember the visitors coming in - Dan, my sister Karen - I told them to leave as there was nothing I could do - and I wanted to sleep. Paula came to visit - I don't remember much - but she left to attend her parents and I was grateful for her being with me during the procedure too. Later in the day Meganne McC came to visit - I am sure she brought me something but I can't remember. I did show her my surgery result - and how good it looked. She of course was impressed - NOT - she didn't really want to see it but I insisted! Hahahaha! She watched as I ate all of my dinner quite ravenously. Food was good at the hospital - loved the tapioca pudding!
Leslie and Pat Heintz came by with some beautiful pink roses - always graced by their presence and their faith - can't rememeber what we said - but Les says the nurse told her that if they wanted to get a word in edgewise - they could do it when I had the thermometer in my mouth. Nice!
Friday March 2nd into Saturday March 3rd ended up being the STORM OF 2012! Over 20 inches in snow, blowing winds, power outages, and such. I was safe with the emergency power that Munson hospital was able to employ.
During the middle of the night - one young nurse who was a bit grouchy earlier, spent some time talking to me - (still on drugs I think) We must have started talking about the weather (remember this was 13 days ago now) and she told me she was going to the Caribbean in two weeks and would be glad to be warm. She was going with her boyfriend of 9 years. She told me that she was pregnant and that the hospital didn't know yet. They were supposed to be getting married but she wasn't sure when, she just wasn't sure how it should be done. I asked her if she really loved her boyfriend, she said yes and so I said " I think you should get married in the Caribbean then so that when your baby is born - her parents are married!" I told her that I am old fashioned, but I think that is the way it should be if at all possible since there didn't seem any reason she could tell me otherwise. I don't remember her name.
In the early morning Dr. Tom came by to check me - and that I could go home - to NO POWER!
I got up, took a shower, again marveled at the job he did on my "bad booby", got dressed and waited for Dan. My new friend, the formerly grouchy nurse, who was now my Hospital BFF, actually wheel chaired me out - all nurses had to stay extra hours because of the storm and they could not go home -so many had been there for hours. As we got on the elevator she proudly showed me her engagement ring - I smiled and wished her a wonderful life!
More later today - as I move on to March 3rd memories . . . . and the Xanex!!
60 - that is what the Cancer 101 book said that the average age was for women to get breast cancer,
Happy Birthday present to me!!! I am not angry - and I feel better now that the lump is out.
So, I want to try to recap the last 13 days of dealing with breast cancer, family and work!
Surgery was March 2nd - I took two Xanex the morning of surgery - because the hospital nurse said I could take all medications I needed before surgery. So I DID! The Xanex took away all of the anxiety and vise-like grip that I had been feeling in my chest for THREE WEEKS! And boy was I happy the morning of my surgery! Dan drove me to Munson Hospital so that arrived on time at 7:30 am - one organization that really is ORGANIZED! I am so happy to be living in an area where the hospital is so phenomenal! We walked in and were immediately routed through to every station we needed to be at and thoroughly explained to about everything we would experience that day.
SIDEBAR - Beki Reed told me three weeks before to get on Xanex - to take the edge off things - I even had spent the night in the hospital Feb 11th because I walked myself in thinking I was having a heart attack. Came through clean on that episode -passing all tests. I kept asking why I had pain in my chest - but it took my primary care doctor visit three days before surgery before I was diagnosed with anxiety and given this fine drug.
So, when Dr.Tom (first name basis) walked in to talked to me before surgery, I took his picture with my camera phone -and he is smiling. He is a gentle man of very small words - but I make him laugh! Then, I asked him to pray with me - reading a "prayer for operation" that asked the Lord to bless the person working on me - ending in commending my body and soul to Him, Dr. Tom held my hand as we prayed and Dan and my sister Karen were there to experience the moment. The anesthesiologist on the other hand did not smile. He did not think I was funny when I told him my birth date was ten years younger than I actually am! Boy those 50"s sure went by fast!
The last thing I remember was asking the anesthesiologist - don't remember his name- how long it would be until I would go out -and he said seconds - as I started praying the rosary.
I woke up to find out that I had a drain in my side - which was not what we were hoping for - one of the five sentinel nodes had cancer - and so they had to take about 15 more lymph nodes out to see if it had metastasized . I would have to wait a week for the answer to that.
So Friday March 2nd I had to spend the night at the hospital - again the nurses and level of care for me was so appreciated. They do ask you every time they come in to do any services for your birth date - I kept lying! Which endeared me to some . . .
I vaguely remember the visitors coming in - Dan, my sister Karen - I told them to leave as there was nothing I could do - and I wanted to sleep. Paula came to visit - I don't remember much - but she left to attend her parents and I was grateful for her being with me during the procedure too. Later in the day Meganne McC came to visit - I am sure she brought me something but I can't remember. I did show her my surgery result - and how good it looked. She of course was impressed - NOT - she didn't really want to see it but I insisted! Hahahaha! She watched as I ate all of my dinner quite ravenously. Food was good at the hospital - loved the tapioca pudding!
Leslie and Pat Heintz came by with some beautiful pink roses - always graced by their presence and their faith - can't rememeber what we said - but Les says the nurse told her that if they wanted to get a word in edgewise - they could do it when I had the thermometer in my mouth. Nice!
Friday March 2nd into Saturday March 3rd ended up being the STORM OF 2012! Over 20 inches in snow, blowing winds, power outages, and such. I was safe with the emergency power that Munson hospital was able to employ.
During the middle of the night - one young nurse who was a bit grouchy earlier, spent some time talking to me - (still on drugs I think) We must have started talking about the weather (remember this was 13 days ago now) and she told me she was going to the Caribbean in two weeks and would be glad to be warm. She was going with her boyfriend of 9 years. She told me that she was pregnant and that the hospital didn't know yet. They were supposed to be getting married but she wasn't sure when, she just wasn't sure how it should be done. I asked her if she really loved her boyfriend, she said yes and so I said " I think you should get married in the Caribbean then so that when your baby is born - her parents are married!" I told her that I am old fashioned, but I think that is the way it should be if at all possible since there didn't seem any reason she could tell me otherwise. I don't remember her name.
In the early morning Dr. Tom came by to check me - and that I could go home - to NO POWER!
I got up, took a shower, again marveled at the job he did on my "bad booby", got dressed and waited for Dan. My new friend, the formerly grouchy nurse, who was now my Hospital BFF, actually wheel chaired me out - all nurses had to stay extra hours because of the storm and they could not go home -so many had been there for hours. As we got on the elevator she proudly showed me her engagement ring - I smiled and wished her a wonderful life!
More later today - as I move on to March 3rd memories . . . . and the Xanex!!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Twas the Night before Bad Booby Surgery
OK - - so it is the night before the big surgery . . final diagnosis of pathology won't be until surgery is done. . . figures. . I would have one that is crazy weird. . .oh well, if the shoe fits.
I tried on wigs yesterday . .I may post them if I can figure out how to do that from my phone so everyone can vote for the one they like me in. I even tried on blonde and red-headed ones. . . I would rather wear a wig. .even though everyone that knows me will know it is a wig, but the main people on the street won't know . . so I won't look too sick. Anyhow, I have to get this show on the road because our family is going to Ireland on June 15th . . the whole family. (Only taking married children's spouses, which will save some $$$).
Hopefully Blue Cross Blue Shield kicks in well . . I don't want OBAMA CARE - and I wasn't going to get political.
Finally got on Xanex yesterday . . Beki Brick Reed told me to do that 2 weeks ago . . I dallied and preferred to think I was having a vice-like grip constricting my chest everyday! I am sooooo relaxxxxed right now . . surgery is in 12 hours. . .YIKES!
Drank some Synergy Enlightenment Tea .. . it had an inscription on the bottle. "One lifetime is but a second in the history of the earth. Whare are you doing with your second?" Great question . . too bad some of us start to think this way only when we are challenged by the big C word. I could be one of those . . .
The paint store down the street from our work had on it's marquee "Just Roll with it Baby" . .. I prefered to think of it as a sign to me!
Jana called me to tell me she had a wonderful omen for me and that I would just die! Of course she didn't mean it that way . . . she hoped I would laugh. The great omen though is that she found a Crucifix this week that she has not been able to find in over two years and I knew all about that loss. She found her beautiful crucifix in a pair of pants that she hasn't worn in two years. . .and it fell out. . .I will accept that as a sign too.
What won't change right now is that I have breast cancer. . . .supposed to be 97% curable . .and all the doctors are encouraging . . . but at least I know my path.
Spring renewal . .Lent and the forty days. . .seems like the best time to go through this journey . . . Not my will, but His will . . .
So besides taking my two Xanex before I go to bed, and can't eat or drink after midnight. . .here is my prayer to the Lord,
Loving Father, I entrust myself to Your care this day. Guide with wisdom and skill the minds and hands of those who minister in Your name and grant that every cause of illness being removed, I may be restored to soundness of health and learn to live in more perfect harmony with You and with my fellow man through Jesus Christ.
Into your hands I commend my body and my soul - Amen
I am going to bring some Jamieson's for Dr. Tom - just to bribe him to do a beautiful smiley face. . .
Geez, my boobs and hair have always been what I considered to be one of my best assets - besides my pretty feet too. Time to learn to be HUMBLE!
My sister Karen flew in to help me yesterday . . .she is going to help me get organized here at home. . .which I have let go while working the past 8 years at Brick Packaging. . . . That will be a HUGE Blessing . . .
Let you know tomorrow. . .I am stage 2+ cancer. . .I pray it is not in the lymph . .but if it is . . .it will be just a little bit bigger journey for me.
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